Your weakness is your strength
When was the last time you were properly put on the spot? You were left with only two options: to either recognise you were wrong or to accuse others.
Recognising when you are wrong takes courage and helps you perfect who you are. It can be unsettling at first, and may even appear similar to walking down a thunderous path, but, ultimately, the sun will shine, because great things always come when you leave your comfort zone.
On the other hand, accusing others makes you bitter; you simply shove your own bankruptcy onto the backs of others. The consequences can be serious - it prevents any personal progress and makes you flee from your responsibilities. In fact, dismissing your responsibilities is like a temporary fix which provides immediate gratification. Though the path may look sunny in the beginning… make no mistake that sooner or later, thunder is to be expected.
Creating new, healthy habits
It is not always easy to transform your habits. When you fall into negative thinking, talking and criticism, fear is often in the driver’s seat, and it’s that fear which could drive you into saying things you’ll regret.
Remember the last time you felt strongly offended and could not hold back. Remember your words and the actions that followed.
These negative impulses seem like a disease with no proper cure. But, if you look at your body, you’ll notice it is equipped with the perfect immune system to rid you of diseases. So here is my question to you: what is your protection against these repetitive negative thoughts?
Your mental immune system
Today, I want to introduce a cognitive defence mechanism to help neutralise your negative impulses. Have you ever heard of the expression: “the sweet fruits of temptation”? If you understand the meaning of these words, you will not only learn to resist your harmful impulses but you will also transform them into a positive.
Here is an example: imagine you are shoving responsibilities onto your friends whilst at the same time being aware of the harm you may cause to them. Though you know it is wrong, you are still tempted to do it. This is where your weakness becomes your strength: this negativity may trigger a certain awareness, and realising what you are about to say allows you to flip your mindset.
From negative to positive, from looking perfect to being authentic, from being dismissive to taking accountability. There it is, “the sweet fruit of temptation.” Because if you were not tempted to say bad things, you may not have flipped your thinking to embrace positivity...
Your weakness becomes an opportunity for victory. Is this not wonderful!? And you will forgive yourself from your momentary flop since you managed to turn the ship around. Do you understand the benefits you can get from this approach? Practising will help you to strengthen this constructive behaviour.
From there, your question may be:
How do I create sufficient awareness to transform my weakness?
You generally have a few seconds between your initial impulse and what you say. These seconds are crucial. Let’s be clear, you always have the choice on how to react to something. Always. Like optical illusions, your mind tricks you very often. It computes past experiences and offers you default responses. In fact, the outside world is emotionless; emotions come from you.
Example: I grab your phone and smash it, there is no external emotion created from this action. It is just happening. The world keeps spinning.
Your emotional response is what actually defines the situation. If you were to laugh, the phone-smashing situation would become comical, were you to get angry however, the situation would appear dramatic. Based on past experiences, your mind auto selects what it wants you to see and how to react. But remember you are the driver, you can take back control - stop the autopilot and go manual!
Next time you have a negative impulse, take a few seconds to assess how you want to respond. Take a closer look, consider things from a different perspective. Your response can take you on a totally different ride and may even become a game changer for your life. Coaching is about action, so let’s make it concrete!
Here is your challenge:
For the next 48 hours, you are going to become more aware when you have a negative impulse. Watch the space between the impulse and your answer. Use these seconds to generate a chiller response. Trust me, this is great fun, extremely rewarding and will boost your self-confidence! It’s the perfect way to create a new reality in your life! This challenge will take you on a path of personal transformation, your first step toward success!
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About Alex Kergall
Alex is a high-performance coach - His clients are executives, emerging leaders, entrepreneurs and elite athletes.
Alex offers a holistic coaching approach mind-body-heart-spirit.
With extensive experience within an iconic global sports company, Alex coaches clients in the UK, Italy, Switzerland, France, Spain, Brazil, South Africa and India.… Read more
Located in London.
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