What resilient people don't do

Successful people are resilient as they have confidence and self belief. They flush out any negative thoughts they have about themselves. Self-respect is an attitude. Be reliable with yourself – do what you promise yourself you will do. Set and achieve goals as this will skyrocket your confidence and self-respect so you can achieve what you put your mind to.

Persistence is a huge part of self-belief. It’s a numbers game and by the law of averages the majority of people will drop out, so it’s crucial that you keep going if you want to succeed in life. I assure you, eventually you will get to where you want to be.

Resilient people don't waste time trying to hold onto what they have, what feels safe and familiar, and avoiding what they fear. They know action is the key to overcoming fear. Why not be persistent with your new thoughts and actions, rather than persistent about not making changes?

Oprah Winfrey endured an abusive and tough childhood and several setbacks in her career. She was fired from her job as a TV reporter as she was told she was ‘unfit for TV’. Through her self-belief she has become one of the richest women in the world and says: ‘Failure is another steppingstone to greatness’.

Resilient people don't quit   

• Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen: Chicken Soup for the Soul was rejected 140 times. Their series of books went on to sell over 100 million copies in 37 languages. 

• Stephen King: His first book, Carrie was rejected 30 times. 

• JK Rowling: Before her first book was published, JK Rowling was broke, depressed, divorced, and trying to raise a child on her own while receiving benefits and writing her novel. Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishers, including Penguin, Transworld and HarperCollins. After being rejected by a dozen agents, Christopher Little took her on and persisted for a year while an endless stream of rejections arrived at his door. 

• Orlando Bloom: Orlando has a major language-based learning disability. ‘I encourage kids to never give up on their dreams, take obstacles and make them the reason to have a big life.’

I have had more comebacks than Tom Jones, and so I know only too well that self-belief is about overcoming setbacks, obstacles and rejection, so persistence and confidence is  essential. Taking small steps brings big results, so be courageous and ask yourself: ‘What is the worst that can happen if it goes wrong?’

Tap into your hidden strengths

When you tap into your hidden strengths you will make smart choices and trust they are the right ones for you.

Resilient people don't worry about what others’ expectations are of them. When you worry about others’ expectations, you are paralysed by fear and you don’t trust yourself to make the right decision, so you make the wrong decisions for the wrong reasons.

So many people don’t make decisions; they stand still and avoid making a commitment so that they don’t have to handle more responsibility or more success, or face others’ disapproval. Often, people look to others to make the decision, so if it all goes wrong they don’t look like a fool. Resilient people don't worry that their decision may offend or upset their  boss, partner, sibling, colleague, neighbour, mentor or clients. 

When you possess self-belief, you have trust that the decisions you make are the right decisions. If it’s a personal decision you need to make, and you are coming from a place of love, integrity and honesty, then it’s always the right decision. Resilient people don't try to be someone else.

Change your perceptions. Be clear about your individuality and preferences. Resilient people are not discouraged by mistakes and don't have self-defeating beliefs about what might happen in the future.

Say over and over again ‘I am good enough. Make it happen, it's your time to shine!