What is self-worth and how do I know I've got it?
There are four key words often interchanged when we talk about confidence or how we feel about ourselves.
These are self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. They all sound very similar so it's no wonder we feel confused.
To bring some clarity to the subject I've written my personal definitions of the words.
Self-confidence - The belief you have in your abilities to do something e.g. your job
Self-esteem - Having a favourable impression of yourself
Self-worth - How you value yourself and your place in the world
Self-respect - A pride in yourself and a feeling that you've behaved well despite your mistakes
They're obviously all important, however to me self-worth is the one that makes the most difference to your experience of life.
Many of my clients come to realise that it's not actually confidence challenges they have but it's actually about their self-worth
How do you know if you have self-worth?
We're all born with self-worth and well-being (you don't see many babies in therapy). Then our experiences, perception of life and the messages we pick up can chip away at them
To assess your level of self-worth ask yourself these questions:
- Do you speak up for your wants, needs and opinions?
- Do you speak positively and with kindness about yourself to others and internally?
- Can you easily list your positive and negative traits?
- Is your value of yourself based on your belief or on others opinions?
- Is your opinion as of much value as everyone else's?
- Are your wants and needs of equal importance to everyone else's?
If you answer yes to all of these questions then wow you have great self-worth. If not then you're like most of us and you now know the areas to work on.
To boost your self-worth here are two actions you can try:
- Make a list of 10 things you really like about yourself (not what others tell you)
- Practise speaking up assertively for your wants and needs
Once you believe in yourself and your value in the world, you'll find life so much easier