What is EROS coaching?
Eros is a formula which can be to applied to life. It came from a desire to spread love of life and by no coincidence is called it EROS after the Greek Eros of mythology. It has been shared many times with many different types of people and has received much helpful feedback.
The formula is E+R=O α S
An event happens to which we feel an emotion. That emotion is a reaction.
If it comes from a place of love we can go with it and expect a good outcome.
If it does not we need to consider how we can respond rather than react.
The O of course stands for outcome which is either positive, negative or OK.
Two further O’s to consider before reaching the outcome are options and opportunity.
A reaction is an opportunity to ask what our options are.
Are we hoping for a positive outcome and how might we respond in order to achieve it?
The mnemonic STOP is good here.
Stop Think Opportunity Plan
You are creating a space between the reaction and your action by saying to yourself stop!
Do you already have a plan that achieved a positive outcome in the past when you faced a similar event?
Or have you prepared for such an event by planning for it?
If we do not already have a plan then perhaps we can go to another pneumonic to help us to devise one.
The mnemonic TAKE TIME is worth considering here.
TRAINING: Have I received any specific training that I can call on to help me get a good outcome here?
AWARENESS: Am I seeing the full picture here or have I allowed an emotion to hi-jack my thinking to the extent that I am being small minded?
KNOWLEDGE: What have I learned from books that may help me here to get a good outcome? What is my inner knowing trying to tell me here?
EXPERIENCE: Have I faced this event in the past? How did I react respond then? What Outcome did that achieve? If it was negative or just Ok what did I learn from it to make it better the next time? Who do I know that has faced such an event? What was their reaction/response and how did it affect their results? Can I model my response upon theirs?
TOOLS: What tools and techniques have I that will help me to achieve a good outcome?
INTUITION: What do I feel intuitively here, is my inner voice telling me to respond in a certain way?
MOTIVATION: What is my motivation factor here? Am I motivated by fear or passion? Is my motivation towards or away from? How can I motivate myself in such a way that a good outcome is most likely?
EXECUTION: What must I do next if I am to achieve a good outcome? DO IT!
After the doing is done you have an outcome. This is where reflective practice can be helpful if we are to improve our likelihood of good outcomes to life’s events on a more consistent basis.
The alpha symbol or α as it appears in the formula stands for the operator “is proportional to”.
So the we have an outcome that is likely to be proportional to the ‘S’ factor.
There are many ‘S’ factors which affect the outcomes we achieve in life’s events but for now we will just consider the big two, SKILLS and SITUATIONS BEYOND OUR CONTROL.
So we reflect upon the skills we used, or failed to use to achieve our outcome.
This is where we can develop beyond all expectations if we really work at it.
However it is essential that we recognise that sometimes no matter how skilful we were, no matter how good our plan was, there are just some events over which we have no control.
The key here is the ability to let go of our natural desire to ruminate and awfulize.
The well known serenity prayer epitomizes this concept:-
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
This EROS formula have been tried and tested over a number of years now and it is the is very useful to give structure to life coaching.
Constructive comments are welcomed as it is in the loving energy known as EROS that I have offered this systematic approach to managing emotions and behaviour.
If we can achieve good outcomes to 80% of Life’s events we are well on the way to achieving what I believe to be Life’s goal PEACE. (Pleasant enjoyment , acceptance and constant evolution)
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