There is no such thing as a disaster date.

What…!!! Bet you are thinking: What, there must be because you have been on one/ many and it felt pretty bad. I can tell you now it was not a disaster. The Japanese earthquake was a disaster. The fact you did not like the guy/girl you were on a date with or they were, rude, late or had BO etc. is NOT a disaster. In a few weeks you will be laughing about it so get some perspective.

In coaching we call the distorted thinking around thinking things are much worse than they are ‘awfulizing’. Are you awlfulizing the date? Was it really that bad? Will you even remember this date in a year’s time? What were the benefits of the date going wrong?
 
On a scale of 1-100, where 100 is the most terrible, horrible thing you can think of (e.g. your house exploding with all your family, dog and possessions in it) where did this date come on the scale? (We are aiming for less than 10 even for the most stressful situations by the way.)

Scale of Awfulization

1-2-4--------------------------------------------100
2=Bad date
4= Worst date you have ever had! EVER!
100= Most terrible thing I can think of

Use this method to keep yourself in check. Try and find a positive angle, the worst thing you could do is let this experience put you off just at the moment things were starting to happen. Dating can be uncomfortable and hard work but if you are awfulizing you are only going to make it harder for yourself.

Now practice the new positive state of mind!

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