The 'f' word
We all love success and while it's different for everyone, it can make us feel validated, valued, happy, content, euphoric and as though we are truly on the right track. What we're doing is having the desired effect, it's working for us and it means we have good judgement, are capable, hard-working and a host of other things. Add to this the importance society places on success and it all adds up to an appealing state of being. So if success itself is so potent, why don't all of us achieve it, all of the time?
That's where the 'f' word comes into play, to be more precise two f words; fear and failure. Fear of failure can stop us from even starting to realise our goals. Often, it's more about what others will think of us if we 'fail' at something - how we'll measure up to their expectations or what we think their expectations may be. Plus it's not necessarily all about the consequences of failure (like a missed deadline, not getting the job, a cake that doesn't rise) but it's the shame we feel around that, as though we are just not up to the task and not worthy of appreciation. There can be many things which hold us back from achieving success such as self-sabotage, rebellion, staying stuck, being scared of the future, fear of success, lack of motivation and more.
But just as success has a value, so too does failure. As the revered martial artist and founder of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba said, "failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something." So on the road to success, it's worth embracing the notion that wherever we are, whatever we do and whatever the outcome, we can learn something from it - nothing is wasted as long as we're prepared to go deeper and really gain an understanding of what's going for us.
Working with a NLP coach can help you to unpack exactly what's happening, make positive changes and improve your outlook. The results can be incredibly rewarding as you gain a better understanding of your potential and move towards a stronger belief in your own capabilities.
If you'd like to make a head start on empowering yourself for success, try these top three tips:
Living authentically is about being genuine, real and true to yourself - it's not doing what your parents or society wants or what you think you should do. Self-awareness is pivotal and when you embrace this knowledge, decisions become easier because you are free to choose things that are closer to your values. While authenticity may sometimes mean making unpopular decisions or revealing parts of you that you'd rather hide, in the end it allows you to lead a more open, happier and fulfilled life.
Write down your goals
The power of writing down your goals is immense. Set your goals at the beginning of the day, week or month and prioritise the ones that are most important. This lends focus and direction to your day. Write them as though you have already achieved them, this will give you a sense of what it feels like to succeed. Re-read them often. And tick them off once achieved.
Invest in you
Keep yourself fit and healthy. Eat well, exercise, learn a new skill, be open and engaged in the world around you. Take proper time to relax and treat yourself. Make time for what's important in your life and consider additional support or coaching to underpin your endeavours. To succeed in life you need to be coming from a good place and be well placed to enjoy your success.
Dare to succeed!