Ten reasons your relationships may be failing
Do you keep attracting the same kind of unsuccessful relationship over and over again?
The way we treat other people, the way other people treat us and the kind of behaviour we accept is a result of our beliefs about ourselves, other people and the world.
I have experienced many of the below situations in my past relationships and friendships up until the point I transformed my limiting beliefs and low self-worth.
1. Being desperate for love.
You accept anyone who will have you because you are so desperate to be loved.
You don’t feel loved and of value by yourself. This can sometimes lead to you tolerating poor behaviour such as your boundaries being violated, being disrespected and maybe also infidelity and abuse.
2. You feel bad about yourself and your partner treats you the same way.
This doesn’t always happen, however if you have low self- worth and are feeling insecure or resentful, you are likely to find someone who feels the same way. It is likely they will treat you in the same way you feel about yourself to confirm your beliefs. You allow them to treat you that way because you don’t feel you deserve any better.
3. You believe other people’s needs are more important than yours.
You are so eager to please others that you sacrifice your needs and suppress your feelings. You often find yourself doing what you don’t want to do because you can’t say no. Maybe you have got so used to putting others first that you don’t even know what you want. This is not attractive to a potential partner.
4. You don’t expect your relationship to succeed.
You may expect this if your self-worth and self-esteem is low and your previous relationships haven’t worked out. If you think that all potential partners are cheats, liars, manipulators, will leave you etc. then you will find evidence of this. Maybe you don’t even think you deserve a great partner.
Maybe you meet a great person who treats you with love, kindness and respect after having many bad relationships. Soon you start creating drama by picking fights, flirting with other people or you just leave the relationship. This can happen because you are bored and crave drama or you don’t believe that you deserve a great relationship because of low self-worth. Yelling, name calling and door slamming does not create a healthy relationship and it certainly doesn’t make anyone want to listen to you or see you point of view.
6. Being a love addict.
Are you addicted to the feeling of being in love, especially new love? Do you need to be in a relationship to feel loved and then find yourself needing to make it work whatever the cost? Maybe you are unable to walk away from abuse, manipulation, control or just not being happy in the relationship. Do you need a relationship to give your life meaning? Are you addicted to your partner?
7. Needing someone to complete you.
You need to bring your own happiness, confidence and self-worth to the relationship. Expecting someone else to make you happy is giving your power away to the other person and is unfair. No one else can make us happy, they can only add to are our own existing happiness.
8. Your date or partner doesn’t feel appreciated or that they make you happy.
When they complement you or do things for you, acknowledge it and tell them how much you appreciate it and how happy or good it makes you feel. Always receive complements with grace, gratitude and a smile even if you feel negatively about yourself and don’t think they are true. When you transform your inner beliefs and self-worth you will believe their complements and feel good about yourself.
Also thank them for the routine things that they do such as garden and house work, cooking etc. and let them know how it makes you feel.
Never criticise them, especially in front of other people. Tell them what you want rather than what you don’t want.
10. Mind reading.
Don’t expect your date / partner to know what you want. Speak up and express what you are thinking, feeling and wanting.
You can transform your limiting beliefs and low self-worth using emotional freedom technique, matrix reimprinting, NLP and life coaching. These are techniques which work well on Skype as well as one to one. Your beliefs determine how you feel about yourself and in return how others treat you.