Techniques for dealing with difficult colleagues and bosses

Do you feel that sometimes others are not hearing you or you are not being respected?

Do you feel intimidated by family members or colleagues who speak over you or at you ?

Here you will find some useful tips and tricks and learn the difference between ineffective communication and effective communication.

How to be Ineffective:

  • Waffle
  • Defiance
  • Irritation
  • Criticism
  • Jargon
  • Judging
  • Unsolicited feedback
  • Negativity
  • Ambiguous language
  • Comparing
  • Passivity
  • Put downs
  • “you” statements
  • Pointing out others shortcomings
  • Interrupting
  • Steering off facts
  • Puffing and sighing
  • Labelling the person
  • Talking over others
  • Shouting or talking AT others
  • Defensiveness
  • Mocking
  • Argumentative
  • Acting superior
  • Complaining
  • Gossiping
  • Unclear on facts
  • Message overload
  • Speedy speech
  • Confuse
  • Misinform
  • Asking closed questions
  • Impatient
  • Aggressive
  • Egotistical
  • Demanding
  • Being unreasonable
  • Vague
  • Angry
  • Reacting
  • Needing to be right at any cost

How to be  E

  • Active listening skills
  • Empathy
  • Informing
  • Correct information
  • Asking open questions
  • Interested in the speaker
  • Genuine
  • Diplomatic
  • Considerate
  • Aware of biases
  • Think before answering
  • Focus on what speaker is saying
  • Not rehearsing answers whilst speaker is talking
  • Positive
  • Expressive
  • Calm
  • Sincere
  • Interested in
  • Accurate with facts
  • Patient
  • Logical
  • Fluent
  • Being reasonable
  • Clear
  • Concise
  • Clarifying elements
  • Direct
  • Assertive
  • Don’t insist on having the last word
  • Perception checking

Simple, effective phrases for difficult colleagues:

1. "When you do …... The affects are ..... I would prefer it if you did … "

2. "Have I done something to offend you?"

3. "Using derogatory remarks towards me wont work."

4. Look bored, wave them away and say “I don’t have time for your nonsense, stop it”

5. If a colleague is putting you down, e.g - “You have taken twice as long as .... to do this report” respond “I would say its more like three times as long”

6. "Do you treat everyone this way or am I am favourite of yours?"

7. "Why do you enjoy being so offensive?"

8. "Did something happen I don’t know about?"

9. "If you have an issue with me, please let me know, otherwise I expect to be treated with respect."

10. "If you want to continue this discussion, you need to be respectful to me."

11. "I won’t respond to you whilst you talk at me in such an aggressive way, if you wish to continue the conversation, you need to speak to me in a respectful tone."

12. "This is as far as I will go on this issue."

13. "This is my bottom line and I am therefore unable to accommodate you in this instance."

14. "If our team is to work cohesively, then you must keep us updated and not withhold information."

15. "Even though I have reminded you daily by email, you still have not complied, which is unacceptable."

16. "I am not interested in those type of comments."

17. "I understand what you are saying, next we need to discus."

Effective phrases for difficult bosses.

1. "Comments like that are unproductive and create bad feelings."

2. "I would like to improve my performance but remarks such as that give me no direction."

3. "I want to excel in this company but hearing that I am not living up to your expectations do not give me a sense of direction."

4. "Please let me know what results you expect and how I can recognise them once I have reached them."

5. "Are you aware of your inappropriate remarks?"

6. "You are wasting your time as I don’t allow anyone to speak down to me"

7. "You will not speak to me in that tone."

8. "I do not converse anyone who talks at me or down to me"

Stand up and be assertive, not aggressive and  do not let yourself down by people pleasing. 

You deserve to be treated with respect, so you need to teach others how to respect you.  

Why? Because you are worth it!                    

Life Coach Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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