Professional persona getting in the way?
We all need help from time to time
From speaking to people, I often hear 'I don't need a coach, I'm going to do it on my own'. There is no doubt people have both the capacity and capabilities to make changes on their own; the question which then arises is why don't they? When I speak to them at a later date, they say the same things as before about feeling frustrated at work which is then spilling over into their home life, and nothing has changed. This then increases the level of frustration because as professional people, they make decisions on a day to day basis, act and get results as part of work.
Yet when it comes to acting in relation to the changes they want to make, they don't do it and then struggle to understand why. If you look at highly successful people in a variety of fields, they all tend to have coaches, and often different types of coaches; relationship, life and business.
Don't let your professional persona get in the way of you taking the steps to change, and consider the following:
1. Be honest
Identify the root cause of what is actually really stopping you from acting and making changes. Are you doing it for the right reasons? Who are you making changes for? Are you not acting out of a fear of failing? Be honest with yourself; the professional persona can often be a mask to hide the real you.
2. Accepting your vulnerabilities
It is not a weakness to seek out help - it is a strength. You are not all-knowing or all-seeing, and sometimes we need to get out of our own heads, to have distance from our thoughts, and to see what's going on from a different perspective. You might be confident in many areas of your life, but if you are feeling uncomfortable or unhappy in an area of your work or life, then if you could have done it by yourself, you would have done so by now.
3. Give yourself permission
Don't get angry with yourself for only half trying to make changes or feeling you should be doing more. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself permission to invest time and money into making changes in your life. It is funny how we give other people the resources that they need in order to improve their lives; however, when it comes to us, we talk ourselves out of allocating time and the financial investment as though our happiness is not worthy or deserving of such an investment. Consider what your future could be like if you did make changes.
4. Create a plan
Don't just think about making changes - actually do something. You wouldn't start a new project at work without creating a plan of what steps to take, what outcomes you want to achieve and within what timescales, so why would you try to make changes in your life or career without being clear about what your end goal is? Identify specific goals, how you are going to achieve those outcomes, and by when.
5. Seek out accountability
Without being held to account, we sometimes let ourselves off the hook quite easily. Having an accountability partner is important in the process of change. They are not only there to provide you with support, but by you committing yourself to the process and stating this, you are more likely to follow through with your actions and achieve the outcomes you are looking for.
A coach can be that accountability partner, helping you keep on track with your goals, exploring different possibilities, delving deeper into what is truly important to you and supporting you to navigate your way to realise your potential. Maybe you've tried before, but without the right kind of support you've not seen the results you want, and everything has remained the same. Maybe now is the time to take a different course of action.
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