Personal Development - What are you missing?

I was working with a client recently who said, “I am having trouble pinpointing my exact problem, but I just don’t seem to be thriving in life.” My client had a successful career, a loving family and a home of his own, and yet, something was missing. He felt like he was just “going through the motions” as the years went by.

Usually, coaching involves working with goals – that is, what clients want to achieve – but sometimes they just can’t identify what they want. All they know is that something is missing, and they don’t know exactly what that is. 

One way to help gain some clarity on “what’s missing” is to start with a very simple brainstorming session, either by yourself or with a coach. Just let your thoughts and feelings flow, and whatever comes, make a note of it.  Here are some approaches to get you started.

The Person, Place or Thing Approach - What’s missing?

For example: 

  • Person - How are your relationships with others? Do you see enough of those you care about?
  • Place - How do you feel about your environment; where you live / work? Do you want to travel more? Spend more time outside?
  • Thing - How’s your health? Do you want to be fitter? How about your own development?

The More of /Less of Approach - What do you want more of in your life/work? What do you want less of? 

The VAK Approach

In NLP, we talk about the importance of the senses in how we experience our world, the main ones being visual, auditory and kinaesthetic (seeing, hearing, feeling). This can be another way to identify “what’s missing”. What do you want to see more of? Hear more of? Feel more of? 

The Time Projection Approach

Imagine yourself 10 years from now. When you look back on your life, what would you have liked to have done? What will have been important?

Once you know more about “what’s missing”, ideas and options can be identified to help take things forward and make changes. You can move from surviving to thriving so that, when you look back 10 years from now, you will have experienced more of the life you want to live.

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