Overcoming mum guilt: Finding balance between career and family

As mums, we often feel like we have to juggle everything – family, career, home and sometimes even the expectation of perfection. Returning to work after having children can stir up an overwhelming feeling of guilt, as if pursuing a career somehow takes away from our dedication to motherhood.

Do you hear yourself repeating these words?

• "I feel guilty every time I leave for work or take time for myself." 
• "No matter what I do, it feels like it’s not enough – at work or home."
• "I’m exhausted but can’t seem to relax because my to-do list is always looming."

But here’s the truth: it’s completely normal to experience those feelings. More importantly, you don’t have to let it define your journey. 

Mum guilt comes from feeling like you’re constantly falling short. Maybe it’s not spending enough time with your children or not being as present as you’d like because of work. Or it’s feeling like you’re not giving 100% at home or in your career. This intense pressure often comes from unrealistic societal expectations or comparisons with other mums in our community.

Here’s the thing to remember – guilt does not define you nor your love or dedication as a mum. You care deeply about your children and that shows in the choices you make for your family’s future.

Why going back to work can be good – for both you and your kids

Your career isn’t just a job – it’s part of your identity. It fulfils you in ways that can make you happier and more confident. And guess what? Your kids benefit from seeing you thrive. When they see you following your passions and building a life you love, it teaches them important lessons about self-worth, ambition and balance.

As mums, we often feel the need to sacrifice our personal or professional goals to be “good” mums. But in reality, pursuing those goals can make us better, more present and fulfilled parents.

Tips for managing mum guilt

If you’re struggling with guilt about returning to work, here are some strategies to help you manage it:

• Acknowledge your feelings: It’s OK to feel guilty! Recognising these feelings is the first step to moving past them. Permit yourself to feel without judgment.
• Focus on quality time: It's not about the number of hours you spend with your kids, but the quality of the moments. Even small, undistracted moments of attention can be meaningful and will help strengthen your bond with them.
• Remember self-care isn’t selfish: You can’t give your best to your family if you’re running on empty. "Fill your cup first before pouring from an empty cup". Taking time to care for your mental, physical and emotional health is essential to being the best mum you can be. It is not a luxury; it is a necessity.
• Set realistic expectations: You’re only one person! It’s OK if not everything gets done. Focus on what’s important and be kind to yourself about the rest. Perfection is not required for you to be a great mum – let go of perfectionism.
• Lean on your support network: Whether it’s fellow working mums, family or friends. Having a community that understands your challenges makes a big difference. 

And remember...

Every day, you’re building a future for yourself and your family. Financially, emotionally and personally, your efforts are shaping a positive example for your children. When they see you pursuing your dreams, they learn it’s OK to want more for themselves too.

So, the next time mum guilt creeps in, remind yourself that you’re not just working for you – you’re showing your children that ambition and family can go hand-in-hand. It’s something to be incredibly proud of.

How coaching can help you overcome mum guilt 

It’s not always easy to know when you need help. Life as a parent can be so busy that we often put our own needs last. However, seek help if:

• You feel constantly overwhelmed, struggle to balance everything and feel like there are never enough hours in the day.
• Your guilt is affecting your well-being and if you feel like you're letting someone down – whether it's your children, partner or colleagues.
• You’re sacrificing your needs and always putting others first, neglecting your own self-care and personal interests.
• You feel lost in your roles and have lost a sense of your identity outside of being a mum or a professional.
• You struggle to say no at work or home, take on too much and feel burnt out.

Coaching offers a supportive environment and a safe space where you’ll feel heard, understood and empowered to make positive changes in your life. You will be able to acknowledge your feelings with no judgement or shame and explore the root cause of them. You will then be able to apply practical strategies to set boundaries and manage your life with more balance while caring for yourself.

If you’re tired of feeling like you're never doing enough, it’s time to take the first step toward a more balanced, guilt-free life. Coaching can help you find clarity, regain your confidence, and ultimately show up as the best version of yourself – for you and your family.