Leaving the past behind
School days be they good or bad, most of us hold some memories of these formative years. If you were fortunate enough to have a glowing school report, I’m so pleased for you and let’s celebrate over a cup of tea.
If on the other hand your reports didn’t glow I wonder if you’ve considered just how some of those comments have impacted your life and how you see yourself currently? How you fare in your life, relationships and your business can still be affected by those words you read and the beliefs that you formed.
You know the ones, could do better, lazy, poor handwriting and so on. Every comment you read as a child could be impacting you right now. Just imagine that.
It’s not just school reports of course. It’s our experience growing up from parenting to siblings and friendships. Every possible interaction and experience is absorbed, often subconsciously and then goes on to shape how we see ourselves.
It’s very common for me to begin working with a client and we’ll find ourselves exploring deeply held beliefs and where those come from. Believe me when I say that successful people have problems taken from their past too. They may not be seemingly huge problematic life events, rather a throw away comment that has somehow stuck with them. Years later and perhaps through coaching they realise that this is what has been holding them back.
Here are three tell-tale signs that the past is impacting you today:
- Strongly held beliefs that something you do now cannot change.
- Negative labeling of yourself- lazy is a common one.
- You find yourself saying ‘I’ve always been…’ or ‘its just the way I am’.
Leaving the past behind begins with taking time out to look at it. Try checking your old school reports with a life coach so you can explore it together. It can then be carefully dissected and reinterpreted. After that, you can rewrite it together and have a conversation with the teacher through writing. Imagine a conversation that’s way over due and allows you to take some control back.
You too can make the most of today and tomorrow. You can flourish and thrive when you leave the past behind.
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About Jayne Cox
I have been in private practice for over 20 years and it's such a privilege to be able to work closely with such amazing and resilient human beings.
Over the years as a therapist, coach and stress management/wellbeing consultant I've listened to how hard life has been for my clients and how they've spent years and years trying to fix themselves. They often blame themselves for being stuck i… Read more
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