L is for love yourself

I’m here to tell you that the most important thing you can say is, “I love myself."

If you can’t love yourself, there’s really no lasting happiness…

Yet when we love ourselves, there is a peaceful confidence about us, a sense of knowing that we are enough. When we really love ourselves, we stop fighting ourselves and instead, we can feel our significance and we are solid in who we are…

There’s a warm glow that radiates from us that others can feel. We become attractive to others because people feel safe around us, because we are who we say we are, we have nothing to hide and we are comfortable in our own skin.

So how do we change?

We simply need to change the way we see ourselves…

I’m not talking about ego or vanity, I'm talking about authentically appreciating yourself for your existing qualities and for the person you are inside and out. Forgive yourself as you would others. Remember, you always do your best and you may not always get it right, but who does! Stop being overly critical of yourself.

When we feel insecure, we have a tendency to go overboard trying to get others to like us, and it’s just plain tiring. When we don’t love ourselves, we can feel unhappy for no specific reason and as a result, I think we’re more apt to judge and be overly critical of those around us.

But here's the thing... we've all felt this way - you're not alone!

You’ve come a long way, you’ve pushed through fear and you’ve been strong – it’s time to reflect and feel good about how far you’ve come and the obstacles you have broken through.

You have unlimited potential and you already have beautiful qualities, so slow down and notice when you do things right. Notice your strengths and notice your qualities. The easiest way to do that is through regularly asking better questions to get the answers you need to feel good about yourself.

  • ‘What do I do well?”
  • ”What have I achieved?”
  • “What are my qualities?”

Ask yourself the questions that will get you the answers you need to empower you. Acknowledge yourself for your successes, don’t just let them go by unnoticed. Give yourself a pat on the back when you do it right!

When you are unhappy, it may just be that you’re not being yourself. You’re trying to be someone you’re not. This would make anyone unhappy. Get back to yourself, live authentically and be non-apologetic for who you are! You're awesome!

So think for a moment...

What is it about you that makes you the unique person that you are? What are your qualities? Take a moment to really think about it...

If you had to name three positive words that would describe who you really are, what would they be? Then really feel that – take in those qualities and own them.

Isn’t it crazy how so often we are not prepared to say out-loud or even acknowledge to ourselves, the great qualities we already have? Be assured you have some incredible qualities that others don't have. As women, we all worry so much about fitting in and what others think, when in reality we were each born unique so that we can stand out and present our own particular perspectives to the world.

Don’t worry about being inferior to others, because you will be… and it’s OK! Everyone - yes everyone, is inferior to everyone else in some ways but, on the other side of the coin, you’ll be superior to everybody in ways too, so be proud of who you are.

In your eyes, perhaps one woman has more beauty or money than you. However, perhaps she can’t have everything you have, maybe she can’t have children, maybe she’s in an unloving relationship...

So make sure you control what you compare things to in a way that empowers you.

And don’t be forced to judge yourself based on other people’s standards of what equals success. Let go of the expectations of others and find your own brilliance based on your own values. You’re amazing just the way you are, so focus on what you have that’s more and better.

And something else…

You can’t be liked by everyone, nobody is. That’s right, nobody!

But it’s not a reflection of you, it’s their stuff! Perhaps the other person’s values and rules are different to yours, or maybe your niceness or attractiveness shows up their own flaws and so they find it hard to be around you - or to be nice to you, who knows? But none of us can be everybody’s cup of tea! Be ok with it and let it go!

I’m going to remind you right now of something that you already know, but most of us forget to make a priority. It’s one of the easiest and best ways to feel really good about yourself and it is something you can integrate into your life every day to feel more alive, fulfilled and loving than you can imagine.

Be a giver. Give first, pay it forward. If you give love, you can’t help but feel it and you’re gonna feel great about yourself! Even if it’s just giving someone a smile, or a compliment to someone on the till at the supermarket, or smiling and holding a door open for someone. Try giving a bit of love to everyone you meet for one day and see how you feel. I guarantee you’ll want to do it again!

Not only will you brighten someone else’s day, you will feel great.

Start the day with an attitude of giving and at the end of every day, you’ll be able to ask yourself, “How have I made a difference to people’s lives today?”

You will have a string of self-affirming answers to give.

You know, people are scared of change, but if you really want to love yourself, you also need to respect yourself and and the quickest way for you to do this, is for you to start taking some new action. Do things in a different way. Learn some new things, give yourself some new references to build new empowering beliefs about who you are and what you’re capable of.

If you want to change your life and feel really good about yourself, you’ve got to decide to take new action. You’ve got to follow through and your reward will be the best life you can imagine…

Claire xx

Life Coach Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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