I'll be happy when...

Ever said or heard "I'll be happy when..."?


Maybe these words are said when buying a new car for example. When does the car go from being the new car to the regular car? Is your happiness dependent on these external 'must haves'? In fairness, it is not human to always feel optimally happy, as life can be very tough. However, there are resources one can recruit to ensure you bounce back which is a true marker for resilience.

There are 10 behaviours at the root of true happiness and I am happy to share:

1. Intention

To choose a happier you and to do something about it, reach out for help. Making a phone call or sending an email is the first step to improvement.

2. Mindfulness

A word used a lot these days. Being present in the awareness of your own life and awakening to real joy in the 'now' is a brief description. Allowing our minds to dwell on the past or the future steals us of any joy in today. We tune our senses to receive more positively charged information which life coaching can assist with. This is a boost for neuroplasticity or learning too.

3. Gratitude

Imagine filling a bucket with small shells. Each one represents a person or something you appreciate and are grateful for. Choose five every day and imagine putting these shells in the bucket. At the end of the week, it's half full, at the end of the month, it's full to overflowing. This helps when going through tougher times as it boosts your endorphins and the part of the brain which recognises reward and even when depleted can be restored with more gratitude.

4. Turn towards challenge

Meet adversity and the tough times face on rather than avoidance, knowing this too will pass and you will grow as a person expanding your previously untapped resilience. New resources help recovery.

5. Integrity

Live your life aligned to your values. If you are unsure about your top five key values you can feel adrift, this is a great discovery tool used by life coaches.

6. Letting go

Let go of want, consumerism, of internal stories about ourselves which do not serve us well. Let go of ego, hurt, fear, and be compassionate to one's self as one cannot pour from an empty cup. Healing and letting go is also part of a good life coaching experience and hypnotherapy can assist greatly.

7. Learn to love yourself

Accept that none of us are perfect, however, we are good enough. Heal the inner child with hypnotherapy - self-compassion is self-recovery and a good life coach will always be able to facilitate that state.

8. Connection

Forgive others (they do not even need to know), apologise without the 'but' and do this wholeheartedly. Demonstrate empathy and truly listen to others and reach out to those also in need. Listening skills are powerful.

9. Compassionate action

Use these learnings to help others. Knowledge is power and this can be shared to empower others in need, helping them shift to their own journey of happiness or empowerment.

10. Learn to 'be' and accept yourself

Just knowing you have arrived at this point of self-actualisation and self-fulfilment without relying on external 'things' to prop your ego state up leads to one becoming happier in one's own skin. This is true self-reliance, not the same as independence as this can suggest aloofness.

Interdependence is feeling empowered to be one's self whilst being comfortable in one's own vulnerabilities and therefore being human and honest. Feeling in this state leads to deep and enduring happiness and can assist in managing the storms life throws at us as we turn towards all the good and the not so good with the same amount of internal resources. (Steps 8-10 occur naturally when steps 1-7 are accomplished.) 

Above all, take the first step.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Morpeth, Northumberland, NE65
Written by Alison Arrowsmith, Life Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner, Hypnotherapist
Morpeth, Northumberland, NE65

Alison Arrowsmith is the Owner of Thought-Org and is a Life Coach, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, Hypnotherapist and Timeline Re-Patterning Practitioner. As an ex Neurology & Memory Nurse, she has a unique insight into physical, emotional and mental well-being and has tools to support with transformational results.

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