How to be Successfully Single!
Is anything better than nothing?
For many of us, the idea of being single and 'going it alone' can be a daunting prospect and something we go out of our way to avoid. Perhaps we associate it with the old stereotypes of 'on the shelf',' 'sad spinster' or 'eccentric bachelor'? The majority of us have grown up with the expectation that the married way is the right way. A recently divorced friend once admitted that she'd gone up the aisle out of fear of being alone! And so many of us do it: relationship, separation, relationship again... getting caught up in a cycle whereby we settle for less ('ANYTHING is better than nothing!').
The more conventionally accepted world of coupledom can be a minefield for even the most discerning singleton to dodge; and the potential pitfalls of a single life can be pretty daunting, especially for those of us who are 'going it alone' for the first time in a while. You can find yourself grappling with endless problems such as...
- How on earth can I afford to live on my own?
- I want to go out more, but with most of my friends in relationships it's not that easy.
- Without a partner I don't have that many people to talk through things, such as my stressful job.
- I want to go on holiday, but really don't know anyone who'd be in a position to come with me.
- I'm getting a bit fed up with people in relationships commenting on my single status. Why should I be judged because I don't have a partner?
- I really feel I should make more of my freedom and be more adventurous...but HOW?!
Many of us are all too familiar with these challenges! However, it IS possible to overcome them and lead an independent life that is interesting, varied, adventurous and rewarding... especially for those of us who are prepared to 'look outside the box' and start doing things outside of our comfort zone. Scary, but the rewards can honestly be VERY EXCITING!
Some food for thought:
STOP THINKING that a long term relationship/marriage is the solution to your happiness. Not only is your happiness in your own hands, but it can be achieved as a single person!
TREAT YOURSELF! Solo living doesn't necessarily have to mean TV dinners and letting yourself go (unless you're in the mood for that!) eat well and indulge yourself!
SAY YES TO LIFE! ... to opportunities to meet new people and pursue new interests. London is full of opportunities, events and interesting and diverse people, many of whom are single! Try to venture further afield if you can; it’s amazing the contacts and friendships that can be made in far flung lands!
FRIENDSHIPS BLOSSOM if you shine on them (and wither if you don't!) make a conscious effort to keep in touch and develop connections with like-minded people.
BE BRAVE & ASSERTIVE! Work at being clear about who YOU are and what you want out of life! (And certainly don't let people put you down because of your single status.) You are a powerful and unique human being. As soon as people see that, they will treat you as such!
BEING SINGLE GIVES YOU fantastic opportunities for personal growth and development that's not always possible when you're part of a couple. (Bear this in mind when you're tempted to think that finding the perfect partner will solve all your problems!)
FOCUS ON THE FUTURE! Lets face it: life's too short for dwelling on 'what could have been'. Being more independent actually DOES mean greater freedom and very possibly an adventurous, exciting and rewarding existence.
Being single can in fact be a golden opportunity to take stock of our lives, to examine who we areas individuals. A good time perhaps to seek some support to give us that extra boost needed to confidently go it alone with a clearer sense of personal identity.
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