How to be a high quality woman? Part 1

In the last few months I became a workaholic. I realised that I hardly ever went out with my friends anymore, most of the time I stayed at home in my tracksuit or other not so sexy outfits, I wasn’t wearing make-up lately, and I spent less and less time on pampering myself. I generally felt that I lost contact with my feminine side. If you asked anyone around me who saw me during this period, they would of course highly disagree with my comments above as I obviously made an effort to look nice every time when I went out, or I had coaching sessions with my clients but deep down, I knew that I paid less attention to be that beautiful, desirable, high quality lady that I used to be, not for anyone else but for myself. That realisation was rather difficult to bear. How did I get there?

I spent the last couple of days talking to my friends and asking their opinion about the subject, I also did some research on the Internet, and I found a few great books in the library that covered this topic.

We work ourselves half to death in order to conquer the career ladder, but without realising, we also tread out the very core of our femininity into the ground in the process. We took on a lot of masculine positions and traits, trying to free ourselves from the traditional role of passive housewives. Don’t get me wrong, it is great that we did it, but I also believe that we went a bit too far, and over the last years, we somehow managed to lose touch with our feminine side. I know I did, and the number of women I talked to recently confirmed that they were in the same boat too.

Unfortunately, most of us became out of balance with ourselves, and therefore, with men. We so wanted to believe that if we worked hard, then we could have it all, and even more. We learned to be independent, warriors if you like, but the truth is that we also picked up a few negative, undesirable attributes along the way, such as arrogance and being bossy or manipulative. Those are not core qualities of a woman, so it is not surprising that we ended up feeling lonely, broken-hearted, and exhausted.

Luckily, in some parts of the world, the relationship between men and women still works beautifully. Women are adored by their men because they are extremely feminine. They listen to their men, yet they are not regressive. They have managed to hold on to the essence of their femininity.

We all want to feel beautiful and be ravished, loved, and taken care of in fulfilling relationships in which we can surrender and be fully giving. Our core is love, but we often hide it thinking of it as a weakness. I understand that we want to come across as tough women and show that we have our acts together. It is appealing to a certain degree, but deep down these are just defence mechanisms as we don't want to get hurt or be vulnerable. In order to find the love of our lives we need to be open, learn to reconnect with our hearts, and get in touch with our feminine side.

There are various practices that we can try that can make us feel more feminine and sexy.

Let’s start with the obvious ones. First of all, we need to look feminine.

• Wearing clothes that are appropriate for our body shape and size is the first step. We need to look pretty, but modest. Don’t save your nicest dresses for later, put them on today!
• I love makeup. It can really bring the best out in our features.
• Accessories in general - such as a lovely scarf, earrings, and a nice necklace and a stylish handbag, just to mention a few - can really add value to your appearance.
• As we each have a beautiful body, we need to love and admire it. It is essential that we take good care of it, so maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and try to exercise on a daily basis in order to stay in shape. Rub expensive body cream in after taking a long bath, and make sure you give your body everything it deserves. You will be surprised how being at one with your body puts you more instinctively in touch with your physical self-esteem. As a nice touch at the end, use a dab of perfume or scented lotion, and you are good to go. Working on your external appearance is a way of tapping into the essence of who you are.

In this article I talked about how to look like a lady, in 'How to be a high quality woman? Part 2' I will give you some tips on how to act like one too.