Home: Coming home to who we truly are
Can you remember the last time you were home? Truly home?
I’m not talking about where you live; I’m talking about that pure contentment we feel, when all is well. Nothing to do, nowhere to be, those moments when we are safe, connected, and content with ourselves, and our life.
Can you recall a familiar space and place, where you belong, where you are truly connected, be that alone or with loved ones? A place where we can sense satisfaction; a non-craving. A space where we can be at peace with ourselves and our world.
“To feel at 'home' – to feel comfortable and relaxed” source Cambridge dictionary.
Some of you will be saying, “I know that space. I spend a lot of time there”...
Well, read no more. Well done, share with others, help them find how to come home too.
For those of us on a journey, we need to keep learning to return to our home base, so keep reading…
We often inhibit a turbulent over-stimulated world where 'busyness' is the norm at work and home. The news that sells best and grabs our attention and triggers the ‘fight, flight, freeze’ part of our emotional brain to engage, is fear-based. It triggers chemicals that can keep us on high alert for hours after. As fearfulness is churned out by social and news platforms 24/7, it can be really tricky to switch off. Even if you are ok, someone you care about may be distressed. So how do we keep coming home to ourselves? - our home base.
Yes, sure we need to leave home, engage with the world and the external landscape that keeps taking us out. As with any trip or journey: be prepared! Remember to make sure you keep strong and resilient with a supply of tools and techniques to keep safe. Then you can keep venturing out, safe in the knowledge that you can return home often to reflect and regenerate.
As well as practical personal experience, I draw from the latest thinking of behavioural psychologists, neuroscience research, wellness experts and traditional, ancient Tao and Buddhist practices. I hope some of my favourite tips may resonate with you.
Ten steps to coming home
1. Notice what and who triggers and distracts you and takes away your balance. Build-in more breathing space or just plain avoid.
2. Figure what and who is toxic to your wellness, and notice how this disturbs your peace of mind.
3. Accept what is, leave it alone (the darts of our suffering), or at least don’t make it any worse!
4. Take small steps (again and again). Make the changes that you know will help you tend to, and heal, your wound.
5. Only 'give what you are willing to give' and 'receive what you are willing to receive'.
6. Find what really nurtures and nourishes you, and spend heaps of time there.
7. Remember to take in the good stuff. Be really present in it and totally absorb it, and practice the science of gratitude.
8. Cultivate kindness and compassion for yourself and others.
9. Breath deeply, listen well and be more present in the moment with those you love (they will notice!).
10. Return more often and quicker to your home base.
“Know yourself and you will win all battles” Sun Tzu.
Notice how often you are happier in your inner landscape. It is here that you have true impact. Trust how your external landscape starts to look, sound and feel different from this true vantage point.
If you want to know more or need support to cultivate your mental and emotional home space, please get in touch.
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