Getting your life unstuck and flowing again

Can I ask you something? It's something I hear a lot from clients, so wanted to ask you too. Does it ever feel like life isn’t quite flowing or that you’re kind of getting snagged on things? Do you feel like you’re spending time on things that don’t bring you joy? No, I'm not talking about applying Marie Kondo to life - or maybe it is - see what you think!

Often, this happens after some sort of life change, or perhaps a traumatic event. Sometimes, what bothers us happens over a longer period of time, gradually working its way into our psyche. We’re living through so much change at the moment where everything and yet nothing is the same; where we live with uncertainty, isolation and loss of what we’ve known. This can undermine our confidence and coping strategies. This can also lead to us feeling stuck.

Let's look at how you can now make changes and get life flowing again.

The first thing to do is identify what doesn’t feel right. Be really specific and honest.  Finding the crux of it is helped by questions such as ‘what’s important about that?’ Here's an example:

I feel tired all the time.

What’s important about that?

I can’t get everything done. 

What’s important about that?

I feel guilty that I can’t look after my family. 

What’s important about that?

I’m letting people down. 

What’s important about that?

I love my family and want to do my best for them.

So, the important thing here is that I want to do my best for my family and I feel I can’t when I’m tired all of the time.

This really gives us a focus for what to do next. In this example, we’ve identified that one of my priorities is focusing on my family. When you’ve done this exercise and found your priorities, put them in a circle. Draw a circle and simply write in all the things you identify.  

What does that feel like? Seeing all the important things in your life all together.

Then, draw another circle and write in it all the things you’d like to have as priorities in your life.

What’s the difference? What’s it like to see the difference? Where’s the biggest difference? What are you spending your time on now that, perhaps, isn’t really a priority? Of course, we often have things to do that we’d prefer not to, but that we recognise as important; this isn’t the same as spending time on things/activities/people/thinking that aren’t really necessary right now.

What changes would you like to make to move from the first circle to the second?  

Imagine if you’d already made this change and write down or draw or record what this would be like. Really imagine yourself in this future.  What and who can you see?  Where are you? What are you doing? Feel what you would feel.

And, now you know it’s possible, you can make your first step towards it now, can't you?

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Prudhoe, Northumberland, NE42

Written by Tracey Hutchinson

Prudhoe, Northumberland, NE42

Tracey is an experienced coach, trainer, and facilitator inspiring people like you to make a positive and permanent change across all areas of life. When you're ready to find out how easily and quickly Tracey can help you find your best self.

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