Get more confidence back into your life now
Feeling unconfident is one of the most challenging feelings to have to face in life. It can show up in so many ways; be it social confidence when meeting people, being at work and speaking up, feeling confident in our own ability (at work and at home), feeling able to speak up and state boundaries, not feeling good enough in relationships etc, it can be throughout our lives.
The impact of feeling low in confidence is huge - and life shrinks in a bid to manage the feeling.
From all my years of working with confidence, what is clear to me is that so many of us have periods of low confidence, and the more we don’t do anything about it, the more it impacts our life and permeates into all areas.
Firstly what I want to say to you if you are reading this, is that so many of us feel that lack of confidence in some part of our life, the feeling is a normal feeling. You are normal. What happens though, is that it can take over and we can then feel fear and shame, and it can seep out into more areas of our life. It can then become a vicious circle of feeling unconfident and then acting that feeling out, susequently feeling even smaller.
How to boost confidence
If you want to face the challenge of feeling this way in some part of your life, here are some ideas to help you work on raising confidence:
Reflect and journal
Behind lack of confidence is often fear, so ask yourself, "What is the fear I have?," and, "What beliefs are holding me back?" Journaling about this and spending time reflecting on what is making you feel unconfident helps you become aware of what is going on inside. Awareness is always the first step.
Our inner world is the place of our thoughts, feelings and beliefs and this all impacts our behaviour. Every day, pause and take a listen to the thoughts that come up around feeling unconfident. Be a detective in your approach, listen with kindness to yourself and don't judge. When we know the thoughts that keep on showing up, we can start questioning them - are they helpful? Are they accurate?
Your wise inner leader
Start connecting with the strong part of you. This is the part that is looking for answers and to help you. This is the part of you that's yearning for change and is open to change. This is the part of you that knows there is a better life for you right now.
Every day, spend time with this part. If you are struggling to find this part within you, it can help to think back over your life as to when you have felt that strength and wisdom from within. Then ask yourself, "Where did I feel that part strongest in my body?", "What colour would I associate with that part?", "What would it say to me right now?" and finally, "What posture does it hold?" Connecting with this part (if possible on a daily basis), helps us access the wisdom within all of us.
Use your body
Your body is one of your keys to confidence. How do you stand and act when you are feeling unconfident? Do you get smaller? What would your confident posture be? When we connect with our bodies and into feeling confident in our posture, it sends a message to our brain and mind that we can do it, and we really can. Take a look at Amy Cuddy Power Pose on YouTube for more information on the research of using your body.
Comfort zone stretch
We can all get stuck in our comfort zones and when we feel unconfident in a part of our life, we can become smaller. Start thinking about what would be a stretch for you. Start pulling together a list of ways you can move out of your comfort zone and set yourself challenges - the more you challenge yourself and succeed the more you grow in confidence.
Feeling a lack of confidence impacts all of us at some point and in some way. I like to see it as our soul’s way of letting us know we are playing small in our life. It's an opportunity for us to reflect and see what our inner talk is all about and a chance to grow and evolve into who we are meant to be.