Genuine connections

The truth is this; You're not for everyone and not everyone is for you! This is what makes the world so special. As we grow from children to adults and as we move through our adult lives we change, and like so many things that we grow out of, we grow out of relationships!


I was the sort of person who wanted everyone to like me, to please everyone, to fit in so that I ensured connection and validation.

On my road to freedom and discovery I realised a very important truth. We serve each other at the time that we first connect through shared experiences and values. As we grow and expand, people disappear from our lives, either suddenly leaving a void, or without noticing until one day you bump into them and realise you used to hang out a lot.

This is what makes our world so special, people who truly accept you and your growth will stay and love you no matter what. This connection is genuine and truly precious, and no matter how long you go without seeing or speaking to each other, it's like you never parted.

When you truly begin to manifest yourself in your life with joy, interest and commitment - not everyone will be ready to find you in this place of pure sincerity. When I left my marriage, I realised I became excluded, forgotten and easily ignored and, yes, even subtly insulted. The very people who had been our friends for years had chosen him - this hurt me terribly, so as well as the adjustments of a massive life change, I had to deal with rejection and abandonment.

The most precious and important thing we all have in our life is our time and energy, and time is limited, so use it wisely!

Focus on the ones who reciprocate and give you their time and energy. You'll begin to realise that you value this amazing asset in yourself, and as you change you may become intolerant of spending time with people who aren't right for you,  not enjoying activities you loved before, or find yourself in places or situations that don't serve you.

Make your life a safe refuge; Protect your beautiful energy more fiercely than anything else. 

Then as you grow and change you will find you want others to see how amazing it feels and how they could experience this personal freedom too. 

Let me tell you, you are not responsible for saving people or convincing them that they need to change! Likewise it's not your job to exist for people and give them your life, little by little, moment by moment. It's also not your job to try to give a chance to someone who doesn't want it, because when you do that, you are wasting that time, depriving yourself of that same connection with your own precious self!

Realise that you alone are the one true love of your destiny.

You need only accept the love from others that you deserve.

Decide that you deserve real friendship, genuine commitment and complete love with healthy and prosperous people

Then wait... work on your own self-love... and notice how everything in your world begins to change.

Greatness is in all of us. You have the gifts to explore this within yourself, be ready to release it because once you bring out your very essence, your environment will bring all the right people and situations into your life to help you to grow and expand into a beautiful existence. 

Embrace life, Love yourself. You only live once. 

You are a gift. Treat yourself as the prize.

With inspiration,


The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Gillingham, Kent, ME8
Written by Melanie Smith, Experienced Relationship Coach | NLP Master Practitioner
Gillingham, Kent, ME8

Hello I'm Melanie, a Relationship Coach and NLP Master Practitioner working with individuals, couples and families who are experiencing relationship problems, communication issues, low confidence and low self-esteem.  My area of expertise is around building happy relationships with a partner, c...

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