Fake it until you make it
Let's start with being happy. I think a good way to start is to fake it until you make it! I am sure that you have heard of this before, but it does work and you don’t even have to believe in it you just have to try it for yourself and watch the results. It becomes a game and a joy that everyday things that you hated before you now all of a sudden seem to like and enjoy, even the washing up.
It starts with a smile. Your brain cannot tell the difference between a fake smile and a real smile. Isn’t that great, so even when you are really grumpy if you start to smile your brain thinks ah great we must be happy again now! Yes, it actually changes the way our computers (brains) think.
When was the last time that you went into a shop and the person behind the counter was really rude, or just miserable; what did you do? Did you take on their mood and be equally miserable with them?
I would say that a lot of you may do just that. After all, if they are being horrible to me then they don’t deserve for me to give them one of my real (or fake) smiles! When you walk out of the shop do you carry it on? Do you tell your friend in the car about how horrible the lady in the shop was?
How about if the next time that you go into a shop and the person behind the counter is miserable and grumpy you use your very real (or fake) smile and say good morning to her. Ask her how she is and tell her that her jumper is your favourite colour. You smile again as she gives you your change, looking her in the eye when you smile and say goodbye. How do you think that would change yours and her day?
Everyone is fighting their own battles
That girl could be going through hell, maybe she has been given some bad news; maybe she has been diagnosed with cancer, maybe her mum is poorly and she is having to look after two children and her mother and she is struggling to cope and that is why she was miserable and grumpy? But you have just changed all that with your smiles, hello's and your kindness.
A word of warning though, find a compliment that is honest and sincere because you don’t want to appear fake!
Coaching is great in helping us learn to love ourselves so we find a new strength within. When we stop thinking for others or thinking that we know what others think of us, we keep our power and our energy. In losing the need to judge people we find the time to plan a new life for ourselves full of amazing opportunities. In learning to be ourselves and accept ourselves we realise how worthy of love and respect we really are.
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