Everyone wants to be happy but few are prepared to do happy
Most of the people I speak to in a coaching context say that they want to be happy. Of course, most of us want to be and feel happy, when we do life is so much easier, there is a bounce in our step, there might be a joyful stillness in our hearts or techno colour feelings all of over our bodies. Happiness feels good alright.
The slight challenge comes when I ask people what makes them happy, what their happy looks like. Many are not terribly clear on this and if that clarity is missing then how does one seek it out?
The big challenge comes when people are presented with the question – so what do you do in order to make yourself happy? See – increasing the times that you feel genuine happiness often requires that you actively do something or change something in your life, be it a habit or a belief.
Not only that. Sometimes the things that ultimately make you happy might not feel like fun or happiness while you are doing it.
That can feel like a tough nut to crack.
Since research shows that happiness has a great impact on our health, relationship and longevity it is a nut worth cracking.
Here’s how to get started with the first slight challenge (you could gain a lot from stopping for a second and considering the following):
- When do you feel happy?
- What exactly is happening?
- What exactly are you thinking?
- What exactly are you feeling?
- Who are you with?
- What is important for you in your life? What is it that makes this important?
Now, on to questions that may start opening up the big challenge:
- How can you do more of that which makes you happy?
- What are you prepared to do in order to have more happy moments in your life?
- What things and people do you need to start saying ‘no’ to?
Lastly, that tough nut that many of us do not feel like cracking:
- What activities could you be doing that might not feel pleasurable in the moment but that will lead to increased happiness in the long term?
If the word satisfaction or fulfilment resonates with you more than the word happiness, then by all means swap out the word and off you go.
I will end with a line from a Lisa Germano song:
“Happiness, yeah, is like TV. On and off, it’s up to me. Happiness, yeah.”
And so it is.