Do you choose to be alone?

It’s very sad to know just how many lonely people there are, some, but very few choose to be alone, but more often it can be the result of a breakup or bereavement. Now this is of course, a very sensitive area because although there is a process to go through, we all handle things differently. There is no right or wrong order to this process but it always has to be worked through and thankfully there’s a lot of help available for those at this stage.

There’s also a lot of help available afterwards but for some reason we don’t seem to know how to live again and because we’re supposed to be in control of our lives we’re afraid or too embarrassed to ask. The problem is that life has changed but we don’t know how to, we’re creatures of habit and we get out of practice when it comes to having a social life and often lock ourselves away. What happens then is that loneliness becomes the habit, we shut the door on life; and deprive the world of our company and what we’ve got to offer.

Being a bit of a recluse doesn’t help when it comes to forming a relationship either, we must accept that we won’t meet anyone sitting at home. I wouldn’t necessarily suggest that you go out more just for the purpose of meeting someone though, but rather to find a social activity that puts you in contact with other people. Everyone needs and should have a social life, but it won’t come looking for us, it has to be something that we want, then go out and make it happen. Relationships won’t happen because we want them to, but we can do a lot to help the process along by being available in a friendly environment with other people. All of these are ingredients needed for starting up friendships and possibly finding someone to spend our free time with. More important is that finding a social activity and meeting people will give us our first opportunity in experiencing a much needed confidence boost.

A more difficult area, but one that must be addressed, is how we feel about ourselves in terms of looks, appearance and how we present to others. You may already be the bee’s knees but then again you might not be very confident and may need some reassuring.  Now I’ve probably stumbled into an area that should be trod very carefully and All you can do is to get a communication going for it to be considered. Helping someone feel better about themselves is one thing, however looks and appearance is an area full of perception and opinion which sometimes defies reasoning and is best left to the ‘Experts’. It’s important to feel comfortable than change your look and feel awkward, as this will show through in other areas.

It’s not easy to change your routine or habits and become the social animal again but then look at the alternative, you deserve it as much as anyone else, you’re just as important as everyone else, spoil yourself, go for it.