Do we get what we deserve or accept what we think we deserve?

“We accept the love we think we deserve” -  The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Do we get what we deserve or accept what we think we deserve? Makes you think doesn’t it? And it isn’t just about our relationships - it could just as likely be the job you’re in too. 

I used to know someone who believed that everyone was against her and so she made it so. There may have been an incident at some point in her past that set her off along this line of thinking, but now, subconsciously, she seeks out confirmation that it is true. She behaves in a manner that makes people behave towards her in the way that she expects to be treated. 

If you believe you are not good at something, be it in a relationship or at work, do you subconsciously choose partners or companies that fit the image you have of yourself? Another friend of mine actually left her job because she talked herself into believing she was no longer effective or adding value.  Despite her boss, on numerous occasions giving her praise to the contrary, she only heard and noticed anything that supported her negative belief of herself. 

So the question is, is your current negative belief about yourself true and does it help you to believe it is true? If it isn’t serving you to believe this thing about yourself, what would you want to believe instead?

As easily as you can find examples to support your negative belief you can be sure you can find as many, if not more, to support the new belief about yourself - and when there are gaps between the old and new belief, consider what extra training or other support you might seek from others to make this new belief rock solid.