Dealing with Stress and Worry

Many of us today are facing challenges in balancing our work and family commitments, and it is very easy for people to become overwhelmed by it all. When we enter into this state we can start to lose sight of what is important to us; we take our family and friends for granted, and in some cases we can even get angry and start to resent them. This leads to further stress as we take these worries into our work environment and inflict our concerns onto others. Whilst all of this is going on, it is very easy for things to spiral out of control whereby our physical health can start to deteriorate alongside our mental well-being.

In this state it is very easy for things to get out of control; however, there are some simple things that you can do to step-out from this destructive pattern. This article aims to give you some simple tips and steps that you can use to take control of what is happening in your life.

Dealing with worry

Research undertaken has estimated that up to 90% of our worries and concerns never materialise. Wow, what an insight! This means that nearly all of the “stuff” that we mull-over in our head will never happen. There are some things we can do to stop the constant iteration and drain on our emotional well-being;

• Separate the worry from the anxiety associated with the worry - quite simply, we must isolate ourselves from the actual event that has happened and how we have responded to it at that time. If there is something that you have done that you have regretted, or if there is something you should have done but did not, then you must simply forgive yourself. If there is nothing you can do to change what has happened then you must let it go.

• Focus on the Solution and not the Problem. This step often appears to be too simple to be true, but many people spend hours mulling over the problem instead of focusing on the solution. Write down ALL the possible solutions and then pick one and then take immediate action to implement it.

• Live one day at a time – do not concern yourself with the future, but instead concentrate on the Here and Now. Live one day at a time; take time to appreciate what you have and stop focusing on what you don’t have. Remove your attachment to possessions and become “needless”, otherwise these possessions start to own you!

• Take time out for yourself and your family – sometimes you have to slow down to speed up. Don’t race out of the door first thing in the morning without saying goodbye to your family and telling them that you love them. Let your family know that you care and they in turn will respond in kind by helping you work through and share your concerns.

• Look after your health. Life Coaching is all about the mind, body and soul being in balance with each other and our environment, yet it is amazing how this simple fact is often ignored. We come home late from work, eat a huge meal and go to bed without even thinking about the damage we do to ourselves. Drinking lots of water and eating a healthy nutritious diet at sensible times of the day with a 20 minute walk will have a huge impact on helping to cope with stress.

• Mind your own business. It is really incredible to think of how much energy people consume on other people’s problems and concerns, yet will often prefer not to deal with their own and end up storing trouble for a later date. There is a big difference between sympathy and empathy; choosing to be sympathetic and acting like a sponge for other people’s problems may not be the best solution for them and it is definitely not in your best interest! Protect yourself from these people by learning to say “NO” when you receive repeated requests for sympathy from other people. Show empathy by demonstrating an understanding of the problem but then recommend that they consider accessing the resources of a good Life Coach.

• Display a positive attitude to the outside world – this is actually a lot easier to undertake then most people think. When people are struggling with life it is very easy to be negative with other people and themselves; this perpetuates throughout the day with negative self-talk. However, as a Coach I know that we can change our outlook in an instant. The key to this is to first become aware of our current state then simply make a decision to change.

The mind focuses on what you indicate that you want from it; slumping down in a chair whilst listening to negative news in front of the television at the beginning of the day will instruct your mind to look for more of the same. However, sitting upright with a huge smile on your face and then reading/listening to something positive at the beginning of the day will change how you present yourself to the outside world. People will then respond to you differently, you will become more opportunistic and you will attract like-minded people.

Henry Ward Beecher once said, “The first hour is the rudder of the day”, and this is very true. Be positive at the start of the day, because it's you that decides that it is in your own best interest to be that way. If you are struggling, just “fake it until you make it”.