Confidence does not require any effort

It took me some time to realise the connection between confidence and effort. As an ex-corporate and a wellness freelancer for the last 10 years, self-confidence has been the fuel for my success and bread earning. As a matter of a fact I believe that self-confidence is an essential quality of having value and it helps our authentic self to show up.

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So I have worked in many ways to build this state of trust in my power, in my worthiness. I worked really hard to learn how to be confident around people and share a confident image of myself. I also learned to receive people’s feedback with confidence without letting it take me down. So I learned networking presentation skills, self-love and self-compassion, applied energy work, core activations and I can go on.

They all helped but nevertheless my self-confidence still required a big effort. I kept learning about self-confidence but the inner experience of this value was still weak, leaving space for self-doubt and unworthiness. If I would be thinking about it, I would feel confident. But the moment I would try to feel, to be spontaneous, to connect with people then self-confidence would not be easy to feel.

Every time I had to meet my bosses, meet a new group of students or start a new project I would put a lot of effort to bring my self-confidence on board to achieve success and recognition. I felt that life required a lot of effort and I would often feel exhausted at the end of the day. Many times I would not have enough energy, not even through the day. I would need plenty of time for myself to relax and rebalance. And if I actually tuned into myself I could feel the insecurity and feeling of 'not enough' sneaking in.

So after years of trying to educate myself to be someone who's self-confident, it became so exhausting that I could not take it anymore. I finally chose to look at the pain I was hiding from all these years. I learned the multiple layers of conditioning that are keeping us locked in “not being enough”. I learned to feel and process emotions through my body and in this way making space for life force to emerge in a soft and natural way. I learned to be with my insecurity and understand it. Finally it became comfortable. And in the end it transformed into effortless self confidence.

I relearned my value and discovered a relaxed and stress free way of living. This journey has helped me help my clients find their inner value and effortless self-confidence. It is a 10 week journey where we follow a systematic and gradual approach of peeling the layers covering our essence of will. We end up reconnecting with the experience of relaxed confidence and ease in life through learning presence and how to fully be here for one self.

Life Coach Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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London, SW6 2QS
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Written by Cristina Berar, Transformational Coach - Personal Growth | Wholistic change
London, SW6 2QS

Cristina Berar is a transformational coach and life long seeker. She healed herself from several conditions and enjoys to explore further the creative potential of our human psychic. In her work she blends elements of psychology, meditation, breathwork and energy that help deepening one's ability for faster and longer lasting transformation.

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