Confidence booster no.5: Stop making comparisons

The challenge: To stop comparing yourself unfavourably to others which you then use as a stick with which to beat yourself.

Look out for this popular trip wire if you are trying to restore some lost confidence. If you are comparing yourself unfavourably to those around you: friends, colleagues and even relations, then you are actively undermining your own position. Also, is there really an upside to this waste of mental energy?

Finding inspiration in the achievement of others can be a great source for motivation, however, be aware this does not slip into negative comparison. This could be a very fruitful ground for weighing down your own self-confidence and is completely unnecessary.

You are unique and possess your own skills and abilities, but how can you properly concentrate on your own performance if you are busy getting anxious about how someone else is doing?

How many sprint races were lost when, instead of dipping for the finishing tape, a competitor decides instead to glance across at the competition? 


Improve your own game – you have already identified your skills in booster no.2 so:

  • Set out a plan to enhance the things you are already good at and to challenge yourself in areas where you may need to improve.
  • What new element would you like to add to your skill set? Identify it and then set about acquiring it. Like all quality and lasting personal development, it does not have to be complicated, but it's not going to be easy.

Upping your own game is where true motivation is to be found and not in glancing at what others are doing. Yes, they will have different strengths and weaknesses to you, so watch out for wasted energy, wishing you were like someone else. It will never happen so rule it out of your thought process completely and dip for the tape!

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire, WD3
Written by Alan Keyse, Managing anxiety; confidence; motivation; stress; career
Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire, WD3

Alan is a professionally qualified executive coach specialising in cognitive self awareness, emotional intelligence, and employing mindfulness principles throughout his work. Having been a senior sales executive for over 30 years he brings a practical approach to his work which puts forward momentum and tangible benefits as a minimum requirement.

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