Common roadblocks after a major life change

Life is change. Whether it’s a change that you’ve been planning for or something that comes out of the blue to surprise you, the one constant in life is change.

These major transitions, planned or otherwise, often come with unexpected obstacles. Perhaps you’ve moved to another city or country after dreaming about it for years, but adjusting is proving harder than you expected. Or, you were days away from proposing to your partner and, without warning, they end the relationship. Or, just as you were looking to get your foot on the property ladder, you were made redundant. These are just a few examples of the unexpected twists that can appear on your journey and potentially leave you feeling lost and stuck.

Let's look at some of the most common roadblocks that accompany major life transitions – and some ways to navigate a way through them. 

Roadblock 1: Fear of the unknown

Many of us have an immediate fear of the unknown. There is a sense of comfort in the familiar, even when the familiar isn’t bringing us the joy and delight we dream of. Change brings with it the opposite – unfamiliar territory and a sense of discomfort and the irony is that you have to go through the discomfort in order to adapt to the transition. This discomfort can often be interpreted as fear and it’s very easy to move into a freeze response that keeps you stuck in place and too paralysed for practical decision-making. 

There are ways to overcome this kind of paralysis and keep you on track;

• Take that big goal and break it down into smaller, achievable steps. Remember to celebrate each step along the way too, keeping the journey enjoyable as you tackle each challenge.
• Adjust your mindset and learn to recognise the opportunities in roadblocks.
• A professional life coach can support you as you break through the fear of the unknown by helping you approach it from a place of curiosity and clarity. When it comes to life transitions, your mindset is crucial, coaching will help you to embrace the change. 

Roadblock 2: Loss of identity

Unexpected life changes can have a deep impact, particularly if the change is rooted in a part of your life that felt like a large part of your identity. This can happen if you lose your job or a very important relationship ends. These are the kinds of changes that can leave you wondering what you’re supposed to do, and how are you to move forward on this uncharted path. When you’ve lost such an intrinsic part of yourself, how do you find yourself again?

The only way to find yourself if you’ve been lost is to look for yourself again. I promise that you’re there! Remember the things you used to enjoy? Hobbies and past times that made you feel warm and light? It’s time to rediscover them. Take your time if jumping in seems too big a step. Start small and allow yourself to rediscover your passion.

Is it time to move away from who you used to be? You will naturally change as you move along your life path and old hobbies may lose their appeal. It could be time to try something new. Take a class in a subject that captures your interest, play a sport, learn a language. New endeavours will help you get to know the new you and embark on a journey of self-discovery.

It can be difficult to know where to start when you’re trying to find your identity and this is where coaching comes in. Moving forward with a professional coach's support in your corner is a powerful way to explore and define who you are now.

Roadblock 3: Decision paralysis

When you’re in the process of transition, it can feel as if all the rules have flown out the window. The shift in restrictions can be a liberating experience but it can also leave you facing a crossroads with so many options that you don’t know which way to turn. The fear of making the wrong choice is a powerful de-motivator and indecision, like quicksand, can hold you in place no matter how much you struggle to break free.

This particular roadblock brings with it well-known obstacles such as procrastination, perfectionism and imposter syndrome. The good news is there are strategies and tools that can be utilised to overcome these obstacles and a qualified life coach can help you break down these limiting thought processes and create a can-do mindset. 

• Learn to recognise when you’re procrastinating, why you do it and what you can do to break that practice and move forward at a steady pace.
• Discover how much your perfectionism is actually holding you back and learn to embrace that enough really is enough.
• Recognise imposter syndrome when it comes into play and change your mindset to one of confidence and self-belief.

Roadblock 4: Lack of support

Going through a major life change can be challenging enough but when you feel alone, it can be so much harder. Feeling alone in a situation isn’t the same as being alone altogether. You can have a big family or a group of friends but if you’re not receiving any support during your transition, you can be left feeling isolated and struggling to move forward.

Remember that changes for you can ripple out towards your loved ones and they may try to resist, wanting you to stay the same for their own comfort – change is uncomfortable for them too! If you are feeling alone on a new path, there are things you can do to navigate this;

Build a support system around yourself by finding your tribe. Friends and family who will support you and like-minded communities are a great source of positive energy. A life coach is dedicated to helping you achieve your goals and so without fail, wants you to succeed with your transitions!

Roadblock 5: Self-doubt

When the big changes in life occur, the good and the challenging ones, they can shake your confidence and lead you to doubt yourself. This is completely natural, you feel secure when you know exactly what you’re doing. Unfamiliar territory leaves us all feeling vulnerable and unsure. These feelings tend to fade and new habits and patterns become more familiar. Remember that everything you do now that feels so comfortable was all new at some time in your journey. You adapted to change then and you can do it again.

• Keep a success journal to remember what you have achieved in the past and record your continuing successes as you progress along your journey.
• Practice self-compassion. Change is hard so allow yourself the space to explore your direction, try new things and be patient with yourself if things don’t go precisely as you were hoping. It’s all a learning curve and it’s okay to feel your way along.
• Use coaching to boost your confidence and help you shift your mindset to one that embraces the transition, looks for the opportunities and moves in a way that aligns with your values.

Whether it’s fear of the unknown, loss of identity, decision paralysis, lack of support or self-doubt that’s got you feeling stuck, remember that it is possible with the right support and the right tools to navigate your transition with confidence. The right support and tools will be unique to you so consider what it is you really need and then move towards that. Change doesn’t have to be a negative experience. It can be a journey of self-discovery and an opportunity to grow. 

Coaching is a powerful support to help you move through change in a way that works specifically for you as an individual. If you’re ready for a transition, or if you’re not but have just got a curveball, make the most of the discovery calls a lot of coaches offer and explore how coaching can help you get past your specific roadblocks.