Building self confidence and self-esteem

Countless people have grown up to believe they are ‘not good enough’. This stays with them for years and years and affects their self-esteem and confidence through adulthood.

You were not born feeling not good enough, you have learned this along the way. It could be due to what you heard as a child from friends, siblings, teachers and even parents. What you heard is stored at an unconscious level and cultivates your adult behaviour.

Believing this can lead to anxiety, depression, social disorder etc. These are all labels that define a certain behaviour, however they are not the cause of the problem - they are the symptom of you feeling ‘not good enough’.

Do you hear yourself telling you, "I don’t fit in", "nobody likes me", "I am different", "I will never be as good as her/him", "I can’t do this", "he/she is better than me in every way", "I am not good looking", "I will never be slim", "I am different", "I will never have what I want", "I lack confidence", "I have low Self-Esteem"… etc etc.

This is the root cause of your issue no pill will solve it. No one else can solve it either, only you can solve it. You may think that sounds crazy, but trust me it is true. You are listening to everything you say about you; your unconscious mind hears what you say and believes it to be what you want. 

It all starts from within, you are not broken and therefore you do not need fixing. Once you start to notice your self-talk and your self-language you will soon come to realise that you are self-sabotaging. Becoming aware of your self-sabotaging thoughts and language will allow you to realise the damage you are creating, you can then replace with self-praising thoughts and Language and discover the true you.

Start telling yourself a different story, tell yourself every day, “I am good enough”. Say it every time you look in the mirror, make a list of all of your skills and qualities - yes you do have them! Don’t look external for approval, look within, if you love you, respect you, believe in you then you can turn your life around.

Tell yourself every day, "I am confident", "I love me", "I am good enough", and "I can achieve whatever I want". Repeat over and over; every time you hear a negative thought, stop and replace it with a positive.

Believe in you and everyone else will believe in you too. 

We are all special and unique - don’t ever compare yourself to anyone. It is ok to admire someone and learn from them, but don’t compare yourself because you are special just the way you are. Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror. 

Your unconscious mind is listening and you will very soon see a difference in your whole persona, you will feel good about you, you will have self-belief, your self-esteem will rise and your confidence will hit the ceiling. You can do this, it takes practice but it does not take long. 

All the negative beliefs you have about you are just from someone else’s words from the past, it is not who you are, it is not who you were born to be. 


The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Watford, Herts, WD5
Written by Vicki French, Dip Life Coach - Cert Master NLP Coach
Watford, Herts, WD5

Is your behaviour holding you back and keeping you stuck. Nowadays, there are so many labels that people readily accept as a diagnosis, which quiet often will prevent them from moving forward in life.  You were not born with Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Depression, Social Disorder, Lack of Confidenc...


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