Building Confidence

In order to understand how to be confident we must first look at the components that make up this state:

• Self-esteem
• Self-belief

Self-esteem:

Is a person’s overall appraisal of their self worth -  it encompasses beliefs and emotions. In other words it’s what we think and feel about ourselves. It is an influential predictor of outcomes and is closely related to psychological well-being. It usually comes from internal drivers, i.e. thoughts generated by the individual. People can have low self-esteem – where they feel and believe they are not worthy or that their needs are not as important as other people’s. Likewise, people can have very high self-esteem where they feel and believe they deserve the best (at the expense of others), or that their needs/desires are paramount. A balanced healthy self-esteem is where the individual views themselves as no better or worse than anyone else and has equal rights in having their needs address – such people do not try to get what they want at the expense of others.

Self-belief:

Is based on a person’s assessment of their skills and capabilities - it can also be influenced by how other people perceive these aspects. This assessment is, in the main, based on past achievements and therefore seen as determined by external drivers. However, our self-belief requires a reality check from time to time as we can either be too ‘critical’ of ourselves or too ‘impressed’. A realistic self-believe depends on us taking time out to reflect on our skills and capabilities and learning from our achievements and our mishaps. The latter takes a mindset that welcomes mistakes as a learning opportunity.

Confidence:

Self-confidence relates to self-assuredness of one’s personal judgement, ability and level of control. A healthy balanced self-esteem and self-belief are required for a person to both experience and demonstrate confidence. Confidence is a manifestation of our own self-esteem and self-belief.

Confidence is experienced in two ways:

• Internally - by the individual themselves (self-esteem & self-belief)
• Externally - by those who are interacting/watching the individual (body language, speech, mood etc)

Confidence v Arrogance:

Some people have a fear of appearing too confident in case this comes over as arrogance. The key to not overstepping this line is in maintaining a healthy respect, not only for oneself and one’s own abilities, but also for others. Arrogance usually manifests when an individual believes too much in themselves and does not appreciate the value and skills of others, or fails to show their appreciation.

Everyone likes to be appreciated. So start building confidence, both within you and in those around you, by appreciating yourself and others.