Do you have great expectations of Christmas? Do you see the warm and snuggly adverts of happy families and believe your Christmas will be just like that?

It's very unlikely that many of us will achieve our idea of a perfect Christmas, but that doesn't mean we can't still have a fabulous time.

If you want to avoid that feeling of stress and disappointment, which can lead to frustration and the festive blues, then have a think about what is actually realistic to hope for at Christmas and what are just great expectations. You can then put your personal boundaries in place to ensure it happens.

For example, if you don't want to be trapped in the kitchen all morning, ensure you delegate jobs and be okay with not being able to control everything! Or, if you know that long periods of time close up with your family stresses you, then plan in some private time; take a short walk or lock yourself away for a quick snooze.

If like me you love the food and alcohol at Christmas, remember that although they both reduce stress at the time, feeling bloated, hungover or guilty leaves you in a worse place.

Why not have a device free Christmas day? Flicking through photos of other people's supposedly 'perfect' days will only make you feel bad and like you're missing out. Instead stay present in your day and acknowledge the things about the day that you enjoy.

Are you a people pleaser?

Then you'll probably be putting everyone's needs above your own. "We better watch the Queen as Granny loves her", "I'll clear up so the others can play games", "I haven't got time to sit down, there's too much to do".

If that sounds like you then remember you're equally entitled to enjoy the day and that means having some of your great expectations met. And if none of that works, it's just one day!

Wishing all my readers a very happy and confident Christmas and New Year

Jo