A quick guide to coaching for men
As Prince Harry opens up about his experiences of therapy, I thought it was time to encourage more men to open up and talk too. You might think therapy is not for you, but have you considered professional coaching?
Being emotionally resilient as a man has been a real test this year, you do not have to have all the answers to everything all the time. Here are my top six reasons to help you think about how coaching could work for you.
1. This last year is not your mess
Talking to a professional coach can uncover your blind spots. You may already be emotionally intuitive and develop personally by observing life and living or reading self-help books. This is great, keep doing that too.
But if your usual problem-solving strategies are not working for you then remember that this last year is not your mess – you did not cause this so there is no need to take on the sole responsibility of sorting it out. Use coaching to seek out some new strategies that might work better for you instead.
2. You can become a better parent
Understanding yourself fully, not just intellectually or physically but emotionally too can help you to become a better parent. I'm sure you're already a great Dad but communicating better with your children, whatever their age, starts with understanding how to communicate with yourself.
Using a coach to help you recognise your anger and frustration – which can sometimes be a cover for feeling hurt and out of control – helps you to understand your children’s emotions too. Coaching can help you to figure out what is happening and what you can do about it.
3. No need to wait for a mid-life crisis
You are never too old, or too young to make changes to your life. You are the boss of you're own life, if you do not like something that is happening in your life right now, then you might bring this to coaching to see if you can work out what to do about it.
4. Take your mind to the gym.
Lots of people spend money in the gym to get their bodies into shape, you could think about coaching as giving your mind a workout.
Try to think of your brain as a muscle that needs flexing too.
When you first started to get fit you may have lifted 10kg weights. With a training plan and some encouragement, you learned how to consistently get better, measure and track your progress and lift 100kg. Coaching is no different, you can approach it like the gym but can leave the gym kit at home, all you need to get started is an open mind to work out your ideas.
5. Working with a coach is a sign of strength
You are not selfish or weak, you want to improve at something but do not know where to start (see point one - you don't have to have all the answers!), it is as simple as that.
If you are bottling things up, drinking more, or numbing pain some other way to help you get through the week, then coaching can help you work out healthier strategies that work for you instead of against you.
Discovering what you really need is a sign of emotional intelligence, a coach will not laugh at you or make you feel stupid. Surprise yourself by sharing your thoughts with a stranger – a coach, not some random bloke in the pub – and see how it feels.
6. And finally, improve your love life!
You absolutely can be emotionally intelligent and a strong alpha male at the same time. Coaching can help you communicate better with others. Sharing your emotions will bring you an improved connection in your relationships with more intimacy – simply put the more you understand yourself the more you can understand others. Coaching can help you become more attractive - just in case you needed another reason!
Find out more about coaching before you decide. Most coaches offer a free initial session so you should get a good feeling about them before you start working with them. If you don't, then move on and find a different coach. f you like the sound of this article, then message me for an informal chat.
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