The Diary of a Child
Welcome to my world, although I am only a few months old, I make all the rules in my house.
I decide when we sleep, eat, laugh and when we play, its brilliant because everyone agrees that my ideas are the best. If the grown ups around me try to change my rules I cry, and that usually gets them back to my way of thinking. I am beautiful, funny and extremely clever – how do I know? I am told constantly, all I have to do is be me and they love me. I am learning to feed myself now, if I don’t like what is on my plate I just tip it over my head, they even laugh at that.
I am getting more independent each day (so I am told) but I still need lots of help and cuddles, I am starting to understand what mummy says to me now.
I am two years old now and my world seems to be changing I’m not sure if I like it, mummy says she is too tired to play with me and I have to be careful when I climb on her. She says I am going to have a little brother or sister (I don’t mind as long as I am still in charge)
My little sister was born today and Nana has come to stay for a while – the problem is that she doesn’t understand my rules, I have to be quiet and I can’t jump on mummy’s bed. I feel sad sometimes.
Six months on and things are no better – in fact they are worse, yesterday we all went shopping, I felt hungry so I picked a bag of crisps off the shelf, mummy told me to put them back because it would soon be dinner time, I said NO then it all kicked off. I started to cry but instead of mummy giving me the crisps she started walking away saying that my sister needed her dinner so we must hurry. I felt sad, it wasn’t about the crisps anymore I laid on the floor, kicked my legs and cried and cried.
I could see mummy was angry so I got up and followed her – still crying, I got cuddles when we were in the car, but I don’t understand. After my dinner and a sleep I felt better but, I had learnt a valuable lesson that day – if I want mummy to love me I have to play it by her rules and not mine, I have to be who she wants me to be.
Three years old now – ‘a big boy’ I can’t cope with all these new rules –
I mustn’t smack mummy, daddy or my sister, I must wee in the potty, I mustn’t get over excited
I must go to nursery (even if I don’t want to), I must go to bed (even when I’m having fun)
I must not be greedy, I must share, I must not get angry
Basically – I must not be me
In fear of rejection or loss of love a child will quickly learn to adapt to societies or other people’s rules, often condemning them to a lifetime of fear and insecurities. As adults the confused, sometimes helpless child we once were continues to live within us, if we have not been given the freedom to express and try out our own ideas, we may never have the courage to do so.
As an adult you can break free of restricting attitudes and beliefs. It is up to you to decide when you are ready to live your own life, not one designed for you by someone else.
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