Clare Deatker MA (Cantab) MAC Career, CBT and Mindfulness Coach
A very warm welcome to takingstock coaching.
I am a certified cognitive behavioural coach, a Member of the Association of Coaching and a qualified Mindfulness and Compassion teacher.
As a qualified solicitor with over ten years experience of working within large City firms, I am able to offer specialised coaching to all professionals within the legal profession in particular, as I understand first hand the increasing demands placed upon lawyers from trainees right through to Partners.
I support my clients as they gain greater self awareness and focus in a non- judgmental space, enabling them to gain clarity and explore different possibilities and choices for themselves. By learning how to draw on their own resources to manage and respond to stress, resilience and confidence grows enabling them to move forward and fulfil their true potential in both their professional and personal lives.
I live in Guildford in Surrey, with my husband and two teenage sons.
Through my experience of working in two leading Magic Circle law firms in London, I am able to provide invaluable support to busy and ambitious female lawyers in particular, as they navigate themselves through the many transitional periods that the majority of women will pass through during their professional lives. Marriage, starting a family, returning to their careers after maternity leave or a longer career break, are just some of the life events that professional women face as they try and build a sustainable and rewarding career.
By empowering women to identify and clarify their own career and personal goals, they become more self aware and not only grow in confidence, but learn how to draw on their own resources to build their resilience to enable them to gain greater clarity, gain momentum and move towards achieving heir life goals.
So what exactly is cognitive behavioural coaching?
When I get asked that question, I think the following words encapsulate the process perfectly -
short term . focused on the here and now . goal and solution orientated . challenging . holistic . intuitive . practical . interactive . insightful . accountability . empowering .
An effective coaching relationship is a collaborative, non judgmental, thought-provoking and creative one where the coach facilitates a coachee’s self discovery, inspiring the coachee to maximise their personal and professional potential and helping them to manage change in their lives.
Put simply, if you imagine a ship setting sail, you will determine the ship’s course and eventual destination. I will help you plot that ship’s specific course which will involve me asking many questions to ensure that I have a full understanding of what you want to achieve and to enable me to fully support you to ensure that the ship continues to make good steady progress in the right direction. The starting point may just be to get a clearer idea about which direction to head in. You may have a particular goal in mind. If so, I will support you to become clearer about how to move that way in small measurable steps. I will help you to manage and deal with any challenges or hurdles (or should I say storms or rough seas) you may face on the way and how to navigate them whilst keeping yourself motivated and on track.
It is a unique professional relationship where I will explore with you ways for you to live your life more fully with meaning and purpose. The coaching process is about the “here and now” and not the past. Our coaching relationship would be grounded in the pursuit of a richer, more meaningful life for you based on your deepest values.
You are considered as the expert on you and that you hold all the answers. When you engage in the coaching process, you are designing your life consciously and with greater purpose and personal accountability.
My personal coaching approach
I have a genuine and authentic interest in people and gain great personal satisfaction from supporting others make the changes that are important to them, in order to live purposeful and meaningful lives. I offer a warm, trusting and non-judgmental space in which my coachees can do just that.
A cognitive behavioural approach underpins my coaching practice, as I particularly like it’s holistic and universal applicability together with its strong evidential grounding. I also draw on the newer “Third wave” CBT therapeutic approaches of Mindfulness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Compassion-Focused Therapy. A cognitive behavioural foundation allows me to tailor our coaching sessions to suit your specific needs. It also enables you to gain clarity about your strengths and values that are important to you, in addition to exploring your patterns of thinking and uncovering any unhelpful long held beliefs.
A cognitive behavioural approach emphasizes that how we react to events is largely determined by our views of them, not by the events themselves. Through examining and re-evaluating some of our less helpful views we can develop and try out alternative viewpoints and behaviours that may be more effective when facing life’s challenges and when trying to achieve our goals. Commitment and motivation together with personal accountability are key for any coachee wishing to effect lasting change in their lives.
The ultimate goal of cognitive behavioural coaching is for you to become your own coach, once you feel confident utilising the strategies and various tools that you have used during our coaching sessions.
What do I help coachee’s with -
Stress and anxiety management . panic attacks . performance anxiety (public speaking, presentations etc.) . career change . exam stress . life transitions . confidence . teen coaching 18+ ( goal setting . anxiety . resilience . confidence . preparing to leave home) . resilience . assertiveness . work/life balance.
What is your story? Feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges ? Feeling stuck and lacking direction? Lacking confidence and motivation? How could your story be different?
What is stopping you making the changes you dream of ?
fear . lack of confidence . lack of time . procrastination . perfectionism . stress . anxiety . unrealistic expectations . excuses . don’t know where to start . lack of self-belief . self sabotaging behaviour .
Coaching will help you make significant psychological shifts in perspective and increase your psychological flexibility, so that when you meet bumps in the road or wish to set personal goals you will feel confident in questioning any irrational thoughts and beliefs which you may have been reinforcing for many years preventing you from moving forward.
My responsibility as your coach:
- help discover and clarify what you wish to achieve and gain out of the process
- facilitate self discovery
- set SMART goals, solutions and offer strategies and introduce new perspectives. Equip you with strategies and tools to enable you to become your own coach going forward.
- hold you emotionally responsible and accountable for what you have said you would like to achieve.
- provide support and help you to keep focus and motivation
- set homework between coaching sessions - this is essential
- regular phone and email contact between coaching sessions providing added value as you work towards your goal. Sharing articles, relevant books, podcasts etc
- open minded
- prepared to take emotional responsibility
- internal locus of control (you have sufficient autonomy in your life to effect change)
- remain motivated
Whats in it for me ?
- effective strategies to successfully manage stress and anxiety
- increased self-reliance and resilience
- enjoying the here and now
- enhanced wellbeing and life satisfaction
- fresh perspectives on life’s challenges and opportunities and increased psychological flexibility
- increased self-esteem, self-belief and self-confidence
- honed decision making skills
- improved communication skills
- living a life in line with your most important values
- toolbox of life enhancing strategies and perspectives to allow you to become your own coach going forward
How many coaching sessions will I need?
I tailor my coaching to fit the needs of each of my coachees. The number and length of sessions depends on the specific challenge or problem that the coachee wishes to address. Usually between 6 and 8 hourly sessions are sufficient, but sometimes a particular challenge may require a longer coaching session. For example, you may want to address your performance anxiety and have an imminent presentation to make at work.
What should I expect ?
My coaching sessions are varied, creative and accessible with no two coaching sessions being the same. As the coachee, you direct each session. After the initial coaching session, each subsequent session we will discuss the progress made with the homework that was set at the end of the last session as this often sets the course of the next session.
It is important to appreciate that I am not there to offer answers to your difficulties or challenges but to facilitate the process of guided discovery for you. All the learning will come from you and through you. In order to effect sustainable change, you need to come prepared to challenge and stretch yourself and to take emotional responsibility.
I coach face to face, on the phone or Skype. Increasingly, I am finding my “walk and talk” coaching sessions very effective and very popular with my coachees, as many find it fits in perfectly with walking their 4 legged friend!
Training, qualifications & experience
Cognitive behavioural coaching qualifications and Membership of Coaching Bodies
- Diploma in CBT/REBT ( Distinction ) - College of Cognitive Behavioural Therapies
- Certificate of Coaching (CBC) - Centre for Coaching. Approved by The British Psychological Society.
- Primary Certificate in Stress Management (CBC) - Centre for Coaching. Approved by The British Psychological Society.
- Certificate in Counselling and Ethics skills - College of Cognitive Behavioural Therapies
- Qualified Mindfulness Teacher ( Level 4 CPCAB ) - Mindfulness UK
- Certified Member of Association of Coaching
- Qualified Mindfulness Teacher ( Level 4 CPCAB ) Mindfulness UK
- MBSR 8 week face to face course - Ed Halliwell . Sussex Mindfulness
- Compassion Focused Therapy - workshop with Kristin Neff.
- Qualified teacher of Mindfulness in Schools (MISP) .B Programme. 11 - 18 yrs.
Admitted as a solicitor in England and Wales - 1998
- Diploma in CBT/REBT ( Distinction )
- Law degree - University of the West of England
- MA Geography - Cambridge University
- BA Hons Geography - Cambridge University
Coaching for charities
- Princes Trust online mentor - 2019
Association for Coaching
The Association for Coaching is one of the leading professional bodies for Coaches and Organisations.
The Association is made up of a number of different membership categories, e.g. Associate Member (AMAC), Member (MAC), Accredited Member (AC Accred), with the different categories standing for different levels of training and experience. Accredited Members have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by the Association.
The Association has a Code of Ethics & Good Practice and a Complaints Procedure.
Areas of coaching I deal with
I offer a complimentary first session which lasts up to half an hour. This can be via phone, Zoom or Skype.
The foundation of any successful coaching relationship is based on genuine rapport and trust.
My 1:1 coaching sessions start at £80.00 per hour (booked as part of a minimum of a 6 session programme).
I offer discounts to those who work within the NHS, full time students and those who work as volunteers for a charity.
Half day coaching is available and customised to fit your needs
Corporate day rates are available on request
Please feel free to call me to discuss your requirements - 07925317032
Continuing professional development
I thought I would share with you some of the books that have had the most impact on my life over the last few years. They are all very easy to read and I can't recommend them highly enough!
Depressive illness, The Curse of the Strong - Dr Tim Cantopher
The Happiness Trap - Dr Russ Harris
Wherever You Go, There You Are - Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mindfulness, a practical guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World - M. Williams and D. Penman
In order to continue to develop and grow as a coach so I can serve my coachees as best I can, I have my own coach and I am passionate about furthering my own professional development.
At present I am very much enjoying studying the following -
- Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Programme - teacher training ( MBSR - developed by Jon Kabat Zinn ) Bangor University.