Clare Deatker MA (Cantab) MAC Personal Development and CBT Coach

Clare Deatker MA (Cantab) MAC  Personal Development and CBT Coach

East Horsley

07925 317032

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About me

A very warm welcome to takingstock coaching.

I am a certified cognitive behavioural coach and a Member of the Association of Coaching.

Prior to qualifying as a professional coach, I worked as a solicitor in large City law firms over a period of ten years whilst bringing up my family. I took a career break in 2006, when I moved overseas with my family due to my husband's work commitments. In 2017, I returned to my role as a solicitor in a busy London law firm after a ten year break. This coincided with my eldest son studying for his A levels and increasing demands from my elderly parents who were requiring more of my time. These, combined with a long daily commute, started to take their toll and I felt that I needed to address my increasing stress and anxiety levels together with my work/life balance. I was introduced to CBT and to a number of mindfulness practices. Both required commitment and daily practice but I found them both enormously helpful and have now embraced both into my daily life. I am passionate about helping others, just like me, to reap the benefits from the transformative effects of integrating both cognitive behavioural strategies and mindfulness practices into their lives as essential life skills. My personal experience led me to embark upon my journey to qualify as a professional coach.

So what exactly is cognitive behavioural coaching?

When I get asked that question, I think the following words encapsulate the process perfectly -

short term . focused on the here and now . goal and solution orientated . challenging . holistic . intuitive . practical . interactive . insightful . accountability . empowering .

An effective coaching relationship is a collaborative, non judgmental, thought-provoking and creative one where the coach facilitates a coachee’s self discovery, inspiring the coachee to maximise their personal and professional potential and helping them to manage change in their lives.

Put simply, if you imagine a ship setting sail, you will determine the ship’s course and eventual destination. I will help you plot that ship’s specific course which will involve me asking many questions to ensure that I have a full understanding of what you want to achieve and to enable me to fully support you to ensure that the ship continues to make good steady progress in the right direction. The starting point may just be to get a clearer idea about which direction to head in. You may have a particular goal in mind. If so, I will support you to become clearer about how to move that way in small measurable steps. I will help you to manage and deal with any challenges or hurdles (or should I say storms or rough seas) you may face on the way and how to navigate them whilst keeping yourself motivated and on track.

It is a unique professional relationship where I will explore with you ways for you to live your life more fully with meaning and purpose. The coaching process is about the “here and now” and not the past. Our coaching relationship would be grounded in the pursuit of a richer, more meaningful life for you based on your deepest values.

You are considered as the expert on you and that you hold all the answers. When you engage in the coaching process, you are designing your life consciously and with greater purpose and personal accountability.

My personal coaching approach

I have a genuine and authentic interest in people and gain great personal satisfaction from supporting others make the changes that are important to them, in order to live purposeful and meaningful lives. I offer a warm, trusting and non-judgmental space in which my coachees can do just that.

A cognitive behavioural approach underpins my coaching practice, as I particularly like it’s holistic and universal applicability together with its strong evidential grounding.  I also draw on the newer “Third wave” CBT therapeutic approaches of Mindfulness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Compassion-Focused Therapy. A cognitive behavioural foundation allows me to tailor our coaching sessions to suit your specific needs. It also enables you to gain clarity about your strengths and values that are important to you, in addition to exploring your patterns of thinking and uncovering any unhelpful long held beliefs.

A cognitive behavioural approach emphasizes that how we react to events is largely determined by our views of them, not by the events themselves. Through examining and re-evaluating some of our less helpful views we can develop and try out alternative viewpoints and behaviours that may be more effective when facing life’s challenges and when trying to achieve our goals. Commitment and motivation together with personal accountability are key for any coachee wishing to effect lasting change in their lives.

The ultimate goal of cognitive behavioural coaching is for you to become your own coach, once you feel confident utilising the strategies and various tools that you have used during our coaching sessions.

What do I help coachee’s with -

Stress and anxiety management . panic attacks . performance anxiety (public speaking, presentations etc.) . career change . exam stress . life transitions . confidence . teen coaching 18+ ( goal setting, anxiety, resilience . confidence . preparing to leave home) . resilience . assertiveness . work/life balance.

About you

What is your story?  Feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges ?  Feeling stuck and lacking direction?  Lacking confidence and motivation?  How could your story be different?

What is stopping you making the changes you dream of ?

fear . lack of confidence . lack of time . procrastination . perfectionism . stress . anxiety . unrealistic expectations . excuses . don’t know where to start . lack of self-belief . self sabotaging behaviour .

Coaching will help you make significant psychological shifts in perspective and increase your psychological flexibility, so that when you meet bumps in the road or wish to set personal goals you will feel confident in questioning any irrational thoughts and beliefs which you may have been reinforcing for many years preventing you from moving forward.

My responsibility as your coach:

  • help discover and clarify what you wish to achieve and gain out of the process
  • facilitate self discovery
  • set SMART goals, solutions and offer strategies and introduce new perspectives. Equip you with strategies and tools to enable you to become your own coach going forward.
  • hold you emotionally responsible and accountable for what you have said you would like to achieve.
  • provide support and help you to keep focus and motivation
  • set homework between coaching sessions - this is essential
  • regular phone and email contact between coaching sessions providing added value as you work towards your goal. Sharing articles, relevant books, podcasts etc

Your responsibility:

  • open minded
  • committed
  • accountable
  • prepared to take emotional responsibility
  • internal locus of control (you have sufficient autonomy in your life to effect change)
  • focused
  • resilient
  • remain motivated

Whats in it for me ?

  • effective strategies to successfully manage stress and anxiety
  • increased self-reliance and resilience
  • enjoying the here and now
  • enhanced wellbeing and life satisfaction
  • fresh perspectives on life’s challenges and opportunities and increased psychological  flexibility
  • increased self-esteem, self-belief and self-confidence
  • honed decision making skills
  • improved communication skills
  • living a life in line with your most important values
  • toolbox of life enhancing strategies and perspectives to allow you to become your own  coach going forward

How many coaching sessions will I need?

I tailor my coaching to fit the needs of each of my coachees. The number and length of sessions depends on the specific challenge or problem that the coachee wishes to address. Usually between 4 and 6 hourly sessions are sufficient, but sometimes a particular challenge may require a longer coaching session. For example, you may want to address your performance anxiety and have an imminent presentation to make at work.

What should I expect ?

My coaching sessions are varied, creative and accessible with no two coaching sessions being the same.  As the coachee, you direct each session. After the initial coaching session, each subsequent session we will discuss the progress made with the homework that was set at the end of the last session as this often sets the course of the next session.

It is important to appreciate that I am not there to offer answers to your difficulties or challenges but to facilitate the process of guided discovery for you. All the learning will come from you and through you. In order to effect sustainable change, you need to come prepared to challenge and stretch yourself and to take emotional responsibility.

I coach face to face, on the phone or Skype. Increasingly, I am finding my “walk and talk” coaching sessions very effective and very popular with my coachees, as many find it fits in perfectly with walking their 4 legged friend!

Training, qualifications & experience

Cognitive behavioural coaching qualifications and Membership of Coaching Bodies

  • Certificate of Coaching (CBC) - Centre for Coaching
  • Primary Certificate in Stress Management (CBC) - Centre for Coaching
  • Certificate in Counselling and Ethics skills - College of Cognitive Behavioural Therapies
  • Diploma in CBT/REBT - College of Cognitive Behavioural Therapies (in progress)
  • Member of Association of Coaching


  • MBSR 8 week online course - Dr Patrizia Collard. British Mindfulness Institute
  • MBSR 8 week face to face course - Ed Halliwell . Sussex Mindfulness
  • Compassion Focused Therapy - workshop with Kristin Neff.
  • Qualified teacher of Mindfulness in Schools (MISP) .B Programme. 11 - 18 yrs.

Academic qualifications

  • Admitted as a solicitor in England and Wales - 1998
  • Law degree - University of the West of England
  • MA Geography - Cambridge University
  • BA Hons Geography - Cambridge University

Coaching for charities

  • Princes Trust online mentor - 2019

Fully Insured

Member organisations


Photos & videos

  • Clare Deatker MA (Cantab) MAC  Personal Development and CBT Coach image 1


I offer a complimentary first session which lasts up to half an hour. This can be face to face, on the phone or by Skype.

The foundation of any successful coaching relationship is based on genuine rapport and trust.

My 1:1 coaching sessions start at £75.00 per hour (booked as part of a 4 session programme).

I offer discounts to those who work within the NHS, full time students and those who work as volunteers for a charity.

Half day coaching is available and customised to fit your needs

Corporate day rates are available on request

Please feel free to call me to discuss your requirements - 07925317032

Further information

Continuing professional development

I thought I would share with you some of the books that have had the most impact on my life over the last few years. They are all very easy to read and I can't recommend them highly enough!

Depressive illness, The Curse of the Strong - Dr Tim Cantopher

The Happiness Trap - Dr Russ Harris

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Jon Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness, a practical guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World - M. Williams and D. Penman

In order to continue to develop and grow as a coach so I can serve my coachees as best I can, I have my own coach and I am passionate about furthering my own professional development.

At present I am very much enjoying studying the following  -

  • Diploma in CBT/REBT - College of Cognitive Behavioural Therapies
  • Resilience Practitioner Training - Chris Johnstone
  • Mindfulness and Compassion Focused Therapy teacher training - Mindfulness UK
  • On the horizon in 2020 ! - Wellbeing in Schools project
Leatherhead, KT24

Type of session

Online life coaching: Yes
Telephone life coaching: Yes
Face to face life coaching: Yes
Home visits: No

Practical details

Sign language: Unspecified
Other languages: None


Accessibility information
Wheelchair access: Yes