Why worrying what others think kills your confidence
16th March, 20170 Comments
Written by: Jo Painter AC, Dip LC, NLP Prac, MRPharmS
Caring what others think is a natural behaviour, not a problem. It helps us to be accepted and feel secure in the tribe. Worrying what others think, however, is a problem.
The difference is when you care what others think, you take on board and respect their opinion, but you don't let it determine your decision or affect your self-worth.
Whereas when you're worrying what others think, you allow their judgement to define what you think about yourself.
If you find yourself regularly worrying about what others think, it can lead to a paralysis in your life. You may become stuck in a rut and unable to trust yourself to make decisions or take actions.
The more stuck you become, the more you overthink others opinions and disregard your own.
With some clients, this has led to them ignoring their wants and needs and instead, they become totally focused on getting approval from others. This really kills your confidence and knocks your self-esteem.
Fortunately, it is possible to reduce your worrying and care more about your own needs, beliefs and desires.
A couple of quick tips to help you are:
- Start being aware of when you are making decisions or taking actions based on others approval. Challenge yourself as to why you are doing this and whether you could do it differently.
- Develop self-approval. Record the achievements you make, the things you’re proud of and your positive strengths. Congratulate yourself when you show the confidence to keep to your beliefs.
About the author
Jo is a leading UK confidence coach. She works with women to help them overcome their self-doubts and build their confidence and self-esteem, so they can achieve things they never imagined they could. Based in Bishops Stortford, Jo offers face to face coaching, Skype and telephone and also online coaching programmes.
Life Coach Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.
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