Why asking for help shows confidence
When you imagine yourself as a really confident person, what does that look like?
Does it mean your loud, gregarious, independent and self-contained? Or could it be quiet, calm, authentic and comfortable with asking for help?
For some reason asking for help in our society has become a sign of weakness. Why is it that we would rather struggle on with a feeling of overwhelm or stress, rather than turn to a friend or colleague to help us out?
One of the reasons, I believe, is that we like to give the impression to others that we have everything under control and don't like to show our vulnerabilities.
One of my favourite guru's is Brene Brown, a research psychologist in America who has studied shame and vulnerability. If you haven't seen her Ted talk then I really recommend 'The power of vulnerability.'
I know in the past I have wanted to multitask and 'do it all'. I'd rather play the martyr, working really hard to juggle everything and building resentment against others for not realising I needed help. When all I had to do was ask.
Now I realise that people love to help, it gives them a warm feeling and I acknowledge that I am worthy of receiving support.
It did feel scary at first as I found it uncomfortable to relinquish control. But by letting go and allowing others in to help you, gives some surprising benefits. I found that it strengthened my relationships and that colleagues found me less intimidating.
I highly recommend you dare to implement asking for help into your life. You can start by changing your mindset around what a confident person looks like. I believe that knowing when to ask for help and why you need it is a strong sign of confidence.
What you'll also notice is then your priorities start to change, with less focus on being in control and more on you and what you need or want.
With that in mind, I'd really appreciate your help in sharing these thoughts with others. If you could share this article on Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin I'd appreciate it.
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About Joanne Painter
Jo is the leading UK confidence and career impact coach. She works with women to help them overcome their self-doubts and build their confidence and self-esteem, so they can achieve things they never imagined they could. Based in Bishops Stortford, Jo offers face to face coaching, Skype and telephone and also online coaching programmes.… Read more
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