Why aren't I as happy as I 'should' be?
Some clients I see have a great life from the outside and have achieved all the things they 'should' have according to society. But behind the perfect social media, window dressing, the way they feel is often imperfect and unhappy.
We see marketing messages all around us that reinforce the myth that happiness comes when you achieve or have certain things in your life. This myth has us continually striving for more, bigger and better, rather than looking at why we don't feel happy.
If you are in a good place in your life, perhaps you have a house, a loving family and good job, but still feel unsettled and that something's not quite right. Then this is the time to look at your mindset and start to make some changes.
Feeling emotional ups and downs is a normal part of life, however, if you are feeling that it's more than that, then the good news is that it is possible to change.
By admitting to some of the ways you sabotage your happiness you can begin that process. Here are some suggestions to get you started:
- Focusing on the wrong things. If you spend time focusing on negative or irrelevant dramas in your life, you miss the opportunity to focus on the more important elements that boost your happiness
- Let go of your expectations for the day. If you have a picture in your head of how every day should look and be, you are likely to be disappointed. Be open to the day and let go of what you think 'should' happen
- 'What if' worrying. This means you are constantly worrying about negative outcomes and what could happen. Generally, it's a waste of your time and energy. Try to keep your mind focused on the present moment instead and enjoy what's happening now
- Living in the past. Is another worry that pulls you away from the present moment. You can't change it, and going over it again robs you of any current joy.
- Don't always believe your thinking. We don't have control over the thoughts that come into our heads, but that doesn't mean they are always true. It does, however, mean we can choose how we respond to them. Letting the negative ones go and not engaging with them will lift your mood
- Making the safe and easy choice. You may believe that this keeps you safe from being hurt. However, it also stops you trying new things, making changes and growing mentally. Challenge yourself at times to step out of your comfort zone
Have a very happy day and please send this on to anyone you think may be struggling with their happiness.
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About Joanne Painter
Jo is a leading UK confidence coach, who works with women to help them overcome their self-doubts and build their confidence and self-esteem to achieve things they never imagined they could. Based in Bishops Stortford, Jo offers face to face coaching, Skype and telephone and also online coaching programmes.