What is self-esteem?
As a confidence coach I'm often asked what is self-esteem and how is it different from confidence.
Confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities and judgement.
Whereas self-esteem relates to your self-worth and how you value yourself in the world.
Someone with low self-esteem would have an overall negative belief about themselves. They'd tend to focus on their weaker points and blame themselves for any difficulties or mistakes.
If your self-esteem is higher, you generally believe you're okay and recognise your strengths. When there are tough times in your life you can cope with them without feeling a victim or taking all the responsibility.
If you're not sure where you are on the self-esteem scale then look at these types of behaviours and decide which describe you the most, or perhaps you demonstrate both types of behaviour?
High self-esteem behaviours:
- Have a balanced view of your positives and negatives.
- Take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
- Willing to trust others.
- Willing to take risks.
- Compassionate to yourself.
- Learn from your mistakes.
- Open-minded to others.
- Trusting yourself and your intuition.
- Take responsibility for your actions and not always blaming others.
Low self-esteem behaviours:
- Focused on your perceived negatives.
- Self-blame and criticism.
- Fear of taking risks.
- Blaming attitude.
- Avoid taking responsibility for actions.
- Fear of confrontation.
- Perfectionist behaviours.
- Oversensitive to others comments.
- Comparing yourself to others.
- Needing to be right.
- Dependant on others for decisions.
Your self-esteem can fluctuate with your current experiences in life and most of us are somewhere around the middle of the scale. To work on building a healthier self-esteem I suggest starting by getting a clear picture of your positives and strengths as well as your flaws.
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About Joanne Painter
Jo is an enthusiastic and experienced confidence coach, who works with clients to help them overcome their self-doubts and build their confidence and self-esteem to achieve things they never imagined they could.
Based in Bishops Stortford, Jo offers face to face coaching, Skype and telephone.