This might sound silly...
'This might sound silly' is a phrase coaches have heard many times. Dave is a highly successful senior manager in a large global company. When he met with his coach he was tired and irritable and at some level was having a confidence crisis.
Exploring with his coach, Dave identified that his recent change in responsibilities had meant that he had to give more and more presentations to varying size of audience. Presenting to his board members and to the large audiences was OK for him. His issue came when his audience was around a certain size. He would feel, and be physically ill prior to the event and had up to now managed to delegate to other people. He knew that this couldn’t happen indefinitely.
It turns out that this reaction was linked to a situation when he was a teenager. With the right support and tools Dave was able to change his behaviour. Then his current day issue became less and less of an issue until it was an issue no more.
When we have a situation such as Dave’s, we often put so much energy into avoiding the circumstances. For some it could be certain social situations, for others it maybe relationships or perhaps it's something holding them back in their career - as Dave felt it was starting to do. There is often an embarrassment and a feeling that we might appear foolish when we talk about the situation.
Here are a few things to remember:
- Establish that there are no medical grounds to your situation, a good GP will listen and be understanding.
- Stop beating yourself up about it!
- Recognise that most people have “stuff” that they are carrying or have carried around with them.
- Open up to someone who will be supportive, such as a friend, family member, or a practitioner as Dave did – often just speaking about it can reduce the significance of the situation.
Ask yourself: What is the cost, emotionally, mentally and physically of repeating this pattern in your life? And, how will your life be once this is an issue no more?
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