The Key to Create Happiness: Connect Head and Heart
When are we unhappy? When we are out of control. When we don’t understand what is happening around us and in ourselves. The reason for the lack of understanding is that there is an internal dialogue going that is inconsistent: the dialogue between the head and the heart! We all recognise that agonising situation when we don’t know what to do; the head might be clear on the direction using logic, using rational reasoning, using statistics...but if it doesn’t resonate in your heart, it doesn’t feel like the right decision.
The mistake that we often make is to only focus on the head. By doing so we are overlooking the useful messages that are given to us by our emotions. It doesn’t mean that your decision should be based on these, but they need to be taken in consideration and then used for the balancing act with the head.
Why is it important to look at emotions? The only way you can find a balance is by acknowledging all aspects of your being and emotions are part of that.
How do you look at emotions? Not when you are in an emotional state! When your emotions have calmed down, maybe after a good cry, it helps to step into your head and look at your emotions, without judgment and without looking at the practical impact. Just look at your emotions honestly and address what they mean, how they perhaps link into other parts of your life and how they are connected to the decision you have to make or to the way you look at yourself and the world around you.
The next step is to honour your emotions. They are a very important signpost, but you can only read the signs with your head.
Once you have a clear picture of your emotions, the dialogue with your head will not be argumentative anymore. The dialogue will look for balance, and will definitely find that balance once you have gone through this process.
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About Mariette Jansen
Dr Mariette Jansen (Dr De-Stress) is a psychological coach, using therapy models, coaching techniques and mindfulness meditation to help you become balanced, stress free and in control of your life.
Focus areas are work-life balance, confidence, food/diet stress and general stress.
Author of two books: on meditation and exam stress.