Secrets Of A Happy Relationship

 I grew up in a ‘battle field’ as my parents argued nearly every evening. I always wondered why my parents stayed together for all these years as I hardly ever seen them to be happy together. Admittedly, now that they are older they seem to be getting on much better, even though they still have trouble communicating with each other effectively.  I never doubted that they loved each other; however, their inability to voice their views, feelings, thoughts and opinions with love and compassion infected their relationship.  Thinking about my parents whom I love dearly and despite the fact that they did not get on were good parents to me, lead me to ponder on the secrets of a successful marriage and a good relationship.

Here is what I came up with:

• COMMUNICATION

In order to have a good relationship there must be open and honest communication between partners.  This is so important. I’ve been in a relationship many moons ago where I was afraid to express some of my feelings and thoughts, as I knew they would not be met with understanding. Being able to tell your partner how you feel, your fears and worries is a vital component to having a great relationship. Using kind, loving, compassionate words when in a discussion helps both parties to open up with honesty. I am sure you have experienced the feeling of relief when you tell someone about something you were afraid to share. I am aware that is not always easy to lace your words with kindness and compassion when in a debate but at least attempt to try, as I am certain that it will worth the effort.

• TEAM WORK

When you are in a relationship, you are a team where I believe, both players need to contribute equally.  The only way the relationship will work if time, love and energy is invested in it and when necessary compromises are made. The responsibility to make the relationship work has to be evenly balanced.  It is not to say however, that you need to lose who you are in a relationship in order to become a team, in fact right the opposite.  A good, loving relationship fosters personal growth and supports each partner’s desires and ambitions.  In a good relationship, you share your life with another; you do not live your life for them.  You mutually support  each other and face the rollercoaster of life together.

• MUTUAL RESPECT

Another secret of a good relationship is mutual love and respect.  There must be respect for each other’s needs and feelings and mutual acceptance of each other.  There is no good trying to mould someone into something they are not.  Many people make the mistake of visioning what their partner should be like and even though they are not, they are hoping that one day they will be. It is best to look at reality rather than base your relationship on a dream version of it. It is essential to accept who your partner is, love and respect them for who and what they are.

The list could be much longer but these are the 3 things I believe to be essential.