Search your soul

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you can’t get someone out of your mind? They consume your thoughts morning, noon and night. Your heart skips a beat when they walk in the room and your ears prick up whenever anyone mentions their name. You are well and truly enamoured.

The only thing is that they are no good for you. No compatibility, poor reputation, treats you badly... Whatever it is they are just no good for you and deep down you know it. To be with them would only mean heartbreak, but all attempts to forget them prove futile. The image of your forbidden love interest plays out in your mind over and over like a catchy pop chorus until you can’t take any more.

I see this situation all too often with people falling for other people even though they are no good for them. They lower their self-esteem getting hung up on looks, status, false promises, popularity, false sense of security, you name it the list goes on.

So what should you do to overcome these yearning feelings for the one who is no good?

You should start digging, digging deep until you reach your soul and then when you get there you must search, search your soul for the answers. But before I elaborate, there are other routes you can take, for example:

There are two good ways to stop yourself wasting energy and time on someone who is no good for you. You can use 'the out of sight, out of mind' theory.

Out of sight, out of mind

The way this works is if someone is no good for you, but you cannot get them out of your mind, you can remove all traces of them from your life. You can terminate your social media links with them, block them from contacting you on the phone and other communication mediums. You can even ensure you are not frequenting the same social events. Over time that person should become old news and not render a moments thought in your mind. As they say 'out of sight, out of mind'.

The only issue with this is you cannot guarantee you will not have contact with them. You may work with them for example. Awkward!

So, alternatively, you can use the 'focus on what you want' theory.

Focus on what you want

When using this theory instead of obsessing over your poor choice in a romantic partner, you instead focus your thoughts on the kind of person you deserve and you should want to be with. Someone who is good for you and will treat you right.

This theory probably works better after using my search your soul theory. It will all become clear, just bear with me.

Search your soul

The search your soul theory is knowing that the answers lie within and to find the answers we must search our soul. It is important to take time to reflect and ask yourself some questions. Questions could be something like:

• Why am I attracted to this person?
• What would my life be like in a year if I actually dated this person?
• What needs to happen for me to realise I deserve better?
• What does it say about me that I like this person, despite my awareness of them being no good for me?
• Or any other questions that let you search your soul...

Nowadays too many people want to distance themselves from real raw emotions, but there is no growth in that! There is a beauty that comes from looking within to understand ourselves.

Search for the answers within, search your soul!