Men - be faithful to yourself
2nd July, 20160 Comments
Written by: Tori Ufondu
A big part of what I do with my clients, and indeed in my own life, is set outcomes. I’m all about goals and being ultra clear on what people genuinely want to achieve. Having done this for so long, I’ve noticed some really clear and revealing patterns with men and I want to talk about one of these today.
A topic that men are most cautious about discussing with me is their expectation of women and it’s one of the very reasons why I’m such an advocate for opposite gender coaching. If you’re unable to express what you need to an impartial woman, one utterly invested in helping you, then how do you expect to do it with someone you want a relationship with? Note to all: practising speaking intimately and openly with the opposite sex is something everyone should do.
Anyway, back to my point. Specifically, when I speak with men who class themselves as more traditional in their approach to relationships, there is a certain guilt that I’ve witnessed in their description of what they want and need from a female partner. You have found it difficult to tell me you want a partner who can and will:
- be feminine
- be everything you want in bed
- make you feel like a man.
This is not to say you want these things one 100% of the time, but more than 50% of it at least. The problem is that society, because of the way women have historically been treated and what has been endured by previous generations, wrongly interprets these words as:
- ego masseuse.
So what do you do, in order to remain faithful to your needs and not look like a chauvinist who’s only out for himself?
Look to your own intentions for wanting these things and if you find them pure, you stop feeling guilty or too ashamed to express them.
Don’t be fooled into thinking it’s just men who receive grief for wanting traditional relationships. Many women are also labelled and made to feel ‘less’ when they admit to wanting a man who can protect them, who is strong or who makes them feel like a woman. This works both ways. Know this however, when we all finally arrive at the realisation that it’s okay to want what we want, the happiness found will far outweigh our fears around judgement.
About the author
Tori Ufondu. Mindset Coach for men | NLP Master Practitioner | Hypnotherapist | Author
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