Is your subconscious holding you back?
It happens every now and again. A new enquiry will come in from someone about coaching. They are curious, they are looking for change, and they think they are ready. We arrange the compatibility session and they are full of enthusiasm.
Then with a few hours to go, a text or email will arrive saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I need to cancel" or "I've thought about it, and actually I'm fine".
Now, I have no way of knowing what is going on, perhaps they really are fine, perhaps they really did need to cancel, but I wonder if they've suddenly felt the fear.
Our subconscious brain hasn't caught up with the modern world yet; it still thinks we are running around trying to avoid sabre tooth tigers. It cannot distinguish between actual danger and perceived danger. Therefore as soon as it cottons on that you might be on the verge of doing something unfamiliar, it will scream at you to stop.
Give a wide berth to any coach that claims they can stop you from feeling scared altogether, as that's impossible. It is a function of our brain that we need in order to keep us alive. It's just doing what it is supposed to, but it simply isn't aware of what's a real threat and what is not.
When I first signed up to work with my coach a few years ago, I tried to back out within 48 hours, citing "inability to use Skype" as an excuse. Fortunately for me, she called me out on it. I was terrified. My brain was trying to use every tactic possible to get me to run for the hills and go hide away somewhere that Skype or rather my coach couldn't get us.
I'm eternally grateful to her for naming what was going on, as I had no idea that is what was happening. I just assumed I had made a mistake and needed to rectify it. I didn't know that my primitive fear brain had started having a freakout and was actively trying to stop me from moving forward!
That is the messed up thing; even if we are in a situation where we are miserable, our subconscious would much rather we stay there, as it's familiar.
It likes the pattern. Our level of dissatisfaction is irrelevant. It just doesn't like change.
When you have awareness of that you can do something about it. You can show up for your compatibility session and find an amazing coach. You can push through, you can acknowledge your fear, own it, and still keep going. You are safe, you just need to tell that to your subconscious.
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About Rachel Martin
Rachel Martin is a career direction coach for women. Having worked in a corporate environment for almost 20 years, Rachel understands how hard it is to make a leap into the unknown in your late 30's. She works with those women that want to change direction, go for that promotion, or start their own business, but need clarity & focus to get there.… Read more
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