I am not good enough - how to beat this feeling.
12th March, 20180 Comments
Written by: Sue Belton PgD, CPCC, PCC
I am not good enough. I am not smart enough. I am not experienced enough. I am not confident enough. I am just not 'enough'. Whatever it is you tell yourself, on a regular basis, these thoughts and feelings can be life crippling and are more common than you know.
This is the number one limiting belief I encounter with my coaching clients on a daily basis, and as well as some individual work that needs to be done, here are three top tips you can use immediately.
Tip 1 – Stop comparing yourself
Now because of social media, this is becoming a big one to get a handle on. When you compare yourself with someone who you see better than yourself (well the glossy social image that is) – you are just going to feel bad. And know that they are also doing the same – and however much they seem to have it all handled, and have it all – they do not – they are just human like you.
So try dialling down the judgement and dialling up the compassion and understanding – as I can absolutely assure you they are dealing with their own fears doubts and insecurities just like you
Tip 2 – Focus on progress v perfection
One of the other biggest causes of self loathing is the need to do everything perfectly or 100% right. And when we fall short of this 100% 10/10 version we obviously feel pretty worthless.
So, instead of beating yourself up for not getting to that high bar every single day maybe dial down to an 8/10 and see how that is, plus give yourself a pat on the back for trying, for making progress and coming as far as you actually have.
Tip 3 – Be kind to yourself
Now, this is the one that will change everything. Because telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself how worthless you are will not help you feel any more worthy.
And the only way to crack this is to literally keep telling yourself “ I am doing well” “ I am doing my best” “I am good enough”.
And as with any new habit, it will feel weird at first, but the more you do it the easier it becomes – and you will start actually feeling “good enough”.
About the author
Sue Belton works with people who feel unsatisfied with their lives and careers. She helps them get clarity about what will make them truly happy and fulfilled and then helps them create more meaningful lives. Sue has been working as a life coach for ten years.
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