How to unleash your confidence
How to be confident can be broken down into five key areas:
To be truly confident and live life to the fullest, you first must take on a little understanding that confidence comes from certainty. If you are certain about something it breeds confidence. For instance, we all know how to cross the road. We are certain of the factors that involve crossing the road and we have done it so many times we are able to cross the road confidently. Most of us are so confident in crossing the road we can do it on autopilot. So, when we don’t feel confident about something it is because we are not certain in that area.
The next step is to gain clarity. It is too easy to say ‘I am not confident’ but that is a non-specific statement, and also it is not true.
We are all confident at something even if it is turning the light switch on and off. So, saying to yourself and others ‘I am not confident’ will erode your self-esteem unless you become specific. I am not confident in maths, for example, gives us something to work with and on. We have to be clear on exactly what it is we lack confidence in. So, be specific.
Now, you have gained clarity into what you want to gain confidence in, you will need to make a commitment to making a change. Make a commitment to gaining confidence. Prepare to make sacrifices. Tell your friends you are making a change in your life to improve your confidence. Set aside time to put in the effort.
What is my reason for wanting to be confident in this area?
Am I prepared to do what is necessary to achieve my goal?
What will this new found confidence give me?
This area cannot be stressed enough. A common reason people struggle to become confident is they underestimate the commitment needed to make a positive change in their lives. So, make a commitment to yourself.
The next step to living with confidence is to have courage. You must replace fear with courage. To do this you must let go of your ego. No, I am not saying you are big headed, I would never say anything like that to you, come on now you know me better than that…don’t you? Of course, you do. Letting go of your ego is to let go of the inner critic that lives inside all of us, that little annoying voice that tells us things that are not true like ‘I can’t do it’ ‘I am useless’ ‘Everyone will talk about me’. Reframe the negative thoughts for positive ones like ‘I can and I will do this’ ‘I am fearless’ and ‘Who cares what people will say’. You will have to do this work every day for 30 days before you see a change and even though it might seem difficult at first keep believing what you are saying and it will happen.
You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.
You will need to set yourself challenges to enable you to reach the confidence you require. In short, you need to take action!
So, you have identified what exactly it is you are lacking confidence in. You’ve made a commitment to doing something about it.
What challenges are you willing to undertake to move you towards your desired outcome?
Design a plan of action of what is needed to get you from where you are to where you want to be. The actions you take are called 'leaning into the fear', because you are taking steps (they can be small steps) to come out of your comfort zone, moving toward the thing that has made you lack confidence and making the fears disappear.
Continue with all these steps until you have mastered the art. This is where confidence comes from when you practice, learn and master the art leaving you with confidence and certainty.
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About Damian Duguid
My name is Damian Duguid and I am a confidence coach. I work with kind hearted and warm individuals who are ready make a change in their lives. I work with people who want to be uplifted, live from the heart and soul and unleash their inner confidence.
If you like this article then hop over to my website www.damianduguid.com for more.