How to get the ball rolling again
The new year brings with it good intentions, resolutions for new beginnings, excitement for all the things we want to accomplish and hope for a change. However, often it takes some time to get the ‘ball rolling’ and for the promises to stick, especially if they are something we do for ourselves or towards our dreams.
This January my first few weeks of the year were rather slow and I found it difficult to get into ‘the flow’ of things. When, for whatever reason, you find it hard to get into the things you want to accomplish it is important not to jump to conclusions and be hard on yourself. This is the time to curiously investigate and to find out the reasons why this is happening.
What were the reasons for me not feeling like starting/doing/finishing something?
Berating ourselves doesn't work and only reinforces not getting something done, which then demotivates us. If we try to force ourselves into doing something and if we do less or nothing at all, we see the proof of things not getting done, which then fuels the internal negative head talk.
Being aware of this head talk is important. Why? Because when we learn to spot how we talk to ourselves in a demotivating and counterproductive way we can nip it in the bud as this is the gasoline we unwittingly pour into our fire... helping us not to accomplish what we wanted. Next time you fail to do something see what is happening in your mind and turn it around into something life affirming like: ‘’I can do this’’, ‘’I will do this in my own time’’ etc. Ask yourself:
- What have I managed to accomplish before?
- What small steps can I take to make this work today?
Affirmation of the day: "I’m learning every day. I know I have the answers and strengths inside me to find my right way and accomplish anything I set my mind on."
When we are kind to ourselves analyse the situation and give ourselves some credit we can come across all sorts of wisdom that directs us to what we can do. My start of the year's lack in energy was nothing more than having had the sniffles.This then prevented me from doing my exercise routine which left me feeling a bit flat and less energised than normal, which in return affected my spirit and drive. As I was aware of this I let myself be and do things at the pace I was able to do in that moment.
Over the years I have learned to go with the situation. If I’m really not in the mood of doing something I let that feeling be my guide. By doing something you’re in the mood for doing and not pounding yourself into submission you give yourself energy and motivation in return. When you find your state of flow (doing what you are passionate and great at) you automatically receive that energy back. Our best work and performance happens in those ‘flowing’ moments –when we achieve readiness naturally through how it works best for us.
When you are achieving, what is happening that makes it work? How can I use this information when I'm not achieving what I want?
Psychologists say that those people who listen to their ‘inner voice’ are more likely to be able to assert self-control. The more you understand yourself, what you want and what motivates you the more you are able to set your right and true goals. When you try to achieve the rights things for yourself you are honouring the inner voice.
Professor Michael Inzlicht from Toronto University found that those individuals who talked themselves into doing or not doing something were far less impulsive and more successful than those who didn’t listen to their inner voice. Being thus clear on the reasons why you want what you want is a great way to get rid of any bogus goals you set yourself and never achieve because the true and natural motivator isn’t there.
We are all under some form of external deadlines. For some, it is a godsend for others this is the best way to kill creativity. Despite this ask yourself;
What is my best way to get things accomplished? (Look also at the state of your mind, the time of day, the setting etc.).
It is so important to consciously try to get these requirements met wherever we can:
When do you get motivated despite not feeling it? What is the best way for me to do this? Who should get involved, if anyone? What excuses am I making for myself?
You are the master of your own universe, your feelings and actions. The more you invest in understanding yourself and allow yourself to do the things that make you feel good, inspires and motivates you, the easier it is to achieve those ‘right’ goals and not get sucked into what others, the media and the world expect of you. And when you are happy you have more power, confidence and drive to help the world to make it a better place!
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About Petra Tourunen
Petra Tourunen is a career & confidence coach - the Flow Styler. She specialises in empowering lawyers to find their career, passion & purpose back. Lawyers who are 'this close' to quitting their job & helps them to find & follow their flow, find back their direction, work/life balance & create a successful career around their potential & passion.