Don't let your future be dictated by your past
Past experiences do shape our world view. Things we learn, often as children, keep us safe and teach us how to get along in the world. They also help us to form our view of the world and our beliefs about ourselves, other people and the world in general - we call these core beliefs. These beliefs affect our behaviour, attitude to self and others, and our thoughts and feelings. As we continue through life, we have other experiences, some add to our learning and some reinforce earlier learning and beliefs.
However, not all of what we learn is positive and empowering to us. For example, a frightening experience seen through the eyes of a small child might leave them with the feeling that the world is not a safe place. An adult might view that experience differently, but if that experience formed a core belief in the child, that belief will impact them throughout their life. Even as an adult they will continue to have an underlying feeling that the world isn't safe, even though at a conscious level they may not know why they feel that way.
There are of course many core beliefs relating to all aspects of life and each of us holds a number of them. Here are some examples of some negative core beliefs that are commonly held ... see if you recognise any of yours ...
- I'm not good enough
- I'm unlovable
- I can't do this
- it's not fair
- something bad will happen
- life is hopeless
- I'm hopeless
- I'm insignificant
- I must be perfect to be loved
- I'm bad
- something must change for me to be ok
- people will take advantage of me
- people are out to get me
- I'm unforgivable
- the world is a dangerous place
- I must be in control
- people are too sensitive
- I'm not capable
- People must think well of me
- I'm helpless
We all have our own core beliefs and the negative ones can impact our present and hold us back. Try to notice when you are being influenced by a negative core belief and see if you can choose to deal with it differently. With practice you may find it gets easier. If you would like to learn techniques you can use to totally transform negative core beliefs then why not try life coaching.
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