Do you want to overcome your FEAR and build your CONFIDENCE?
7th February, 20150 Comments
Written by: Jo Rayner
With realisation of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” - Dalai Lama
As Cheryl Strayed the No.1 New York Times bestselling author of Wild, so eloquently described her own experience from lost to found while she hiked the Pacific Crest Trail:
"Fear to a great extent is born from a story we tell ourselves and so I can chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe, I was strong, I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me… fear begets fear, power begets power I willed myself to beget power and to wasn’t long before I actually wasn't afraid”
Facing your FEAR is about becoming the person you want to be, instead of remaining the person you’ve let yourself become. Don Miguel author the Four Agreements describes becoming Spiritual Warriors. Spiritual because it is about living your Life and a Warrior as change can be also referred to as a war because you are challenging the old fear based beliefs in your mind.
So how can we make the change from being anxious, fearful, & scared of the future to becoming our own Warrior?
Start listening to what you are saying/thinking about yourself.
"I will only make a fool of myself if a try.”
"I will fail anyway so what’s the point"
What emotions are you feeling?
Are you frustrated, angry, anxious? Your internal dialogue is saying “what if” “I am so hurt because"
So how can we change this?
1. CHANGE YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS
Your thoughts are often not logical or rational and not based on fact. This can create your reality if repeatedly stated.
Your negative thoughts are based on past experiences and are not about the current situation.
Just watch your thoughts and you will realise that they are not who you really are. This will create a space between yourself and your thoughts.
It’s also important not to take yourself to seriously. Try to see the lighter side of the situation. What is the worst thing that will happen? If its something you really want to change or obtain it will be worth facing the fear.
2. FACE THE FEAR
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”? - Eleanor Roosevelt
Facing the fear is always the scary part. Once you have experienced the fear you will learn something about yourself and the next time you have to go through it, the fear becomes less.
There is no way round this, facing your fear however can unlock huge opportunities & potential. Understanding and realising that fear is based on unhealthy, unhelpful views, which are reflections of the past and are not about the now, can be liberating.
3. LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE
When you know better you do better.
Failure should be viewed as a learning experience not that we should stop trying.
The question is which is the biggest fear staying in the situation forever or moving forward.
"Don't surrender all your joy for an idea you used to have about yourself that isn't true anymore.” - Cheryl Strayed
If you would like more information or support on how to overcome your fears and build confidence, seeing a life coach can help.
About the author
Jo has been involved in coaching for over 20 years and her passion in life has been to help individuals and businesses to fulfil their potential, either in their life, career, health, finances or business development. Jo has a diploma in Life Coaching with the UK College of Personal Development & is a member of the Association for Coaching.
Life Coach Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.
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