Do you ask your self "why can't I just be happy"?
Happiness has different meaning to different people, different cultures and different spiritual belief systems. For example Buddisium teaches that, "Ultimate happiness is only achieved by overcoming craving in all forms”, whilst our western beliefs drive happiness in the form of family, career achievements and financial gain.
When reviewing this topic of happiness it can become complex and created many more questions than answers. So do we feel in today's chaotic world that it is our right to be happy, or do we have to work at this day by day to make it happen?
In my research I believe that if we break this down into two simple areas then happiness can become more obtainable in our everyday life however it is a daily choice to ensure we create this for ourselves:
- Feeling more positive emotions than negative.
- Feeling content with your life.
As Mahatma Gandhi quoted, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
So how do we create these positive emotions and contentment?
Stop negative thoughts.
Strengthen the mind to prevent negative thoughts overwhelming emotions like a tidal wave of pain. If you can become aware of the negative phrases you use with yourself and replace them with positives ones, (even if you don’t believe them at the beginning with practice you may just start to believe).
Stop the “I should haves”.
“I should have done this better" or “I should have prevented this”. Learn from each experience as Maya Angelou the acclaimed American poet, storyteller and activist quoted, “When you know better you do better”.
Stop placing expectations on life.
Expectations ruin our peace and happiness as the great William Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache".
Start taking a few minutes for yourself when you need it.
Make yourself the one you look after. Cherish who you are and allow yourself just to be in the moment.
Start letting go of painful negative thoughts.
However challenging this may be, negative thoughts will only create dissatisfaction not peace and contentment. Indulge in the art of gratitude. Compile a list of what you are grateful for each day however small, reflect on those tender things.
Start to simply your life.
Don’t let the huge list of jobs control your life. Be in control of your life. You can only achieve one thing at a time. Concentrate and give your full attention to the one most important thing of the day. Be in the moment.
Start to look after your body and mind.
Eat healthy and exercise. Ensure your physical body is in shape to function at its best and the same with your inner self. Meditate, laugh, and enjoy nature and the wonders of your life.
If you would like to to find happiness or become more content with your life, focus on your awareness around the points above. Understanding what triggers these behaviours will enable you to question how you can change these habits.
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About Jo Rayner
Jo has been involved in coaching for over 20 years and her passion in life has been to help individuals and businesses to fulfil their potential, either in their life, career, health, finances or business development. Jo has a diploma in Life Coaching with the UK College of Personal Development and is a member of the Association for Coaching.